I think it is complicated.
With my mother, she took the inheritance on purpose. She knew what she was doing and why. She said my grandfather had changed his mind. Perhaps he had, perhaps not. Either way, she believed she deserved it. She believed she would be the better custodian. She believed she had overarching authority to determine what was right, and who was deserving. And it was always her. And then my sister, it seems. So, the question of knowing what is right and wrong, is one of perspective.
Of course, had she put it to herself, I am robbing money that is not legally mine from my daughters, she would have had to confront the evil in that. But she did not ever look at it like that.
My sister is similar. She is very invested in seeing herself as strong, authoritative, decisive and in control. As powerful. Today, as I go through papers once again I live through her rejection and abandonment of my mother as she died. (Remember, our situation was different than that of you, Serenity, and you, Cedar. My sister had lived close to my mother and had a relationship with her for almost 40 years. She only cut my mother off after the hospital visit, as my mother died.)
While I feel what my sister did was evil, I believe she sees it is taking a strong stance to protect herself. It is true that she was working a demanding job and I am sure she felt she did not have any extra to give. She would believe that caring for herself is the primary responsibility. She would see it as a strength to have protected herself, first and foremost, without deviation.
So, again, it is a matter of perspective. Relative to one's perspective.
But the thing is, I believe in absolute evil. I believe that there are things that no matter how you choose to look at them, are wrong.
I guess each of us has the right to decide for us what those evil things are. But that does not make sense. Because if evil is absolute, would not everybody capable of knowing right from wrong, share the same beliefs? (I need to take an Ethics class.)
When you think about each of our experience in our families, it sure is understandable why we chose and choose fog or dissonance, over looking head on at the situations we found ourselves in.
Thank you Serenity and Cedar.
