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Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 666486" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Yes. And rage at us.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>I agree, except that her rage was at my involvement and threatening to upset her power...up until that point my mother had not acted...all it took for my sister to become discombobulated was to hear me say...I spoke with the social worker...</p><p></p><p>To me this represents the fear of rivalry, and then, loss of role and access to the mother. Ultimately, abandonment.</p><p></p><p>That would fit, because, what my sister did was turn passive to active. Instead of letting my mother abandon her, she first abandoned my mother...as she was dying. And in this way she sought to establish her "power over"...all of us and exact vengeance.</p><p></p><p>If I look at it this way, it was a cold and calculated way to establish matriarchal power in the family...she was establishing her power in place of my mother as she died.</p><p></p><p>I must have sensed this unconsciously. Because I have many times consoled myself that my sister did not win. Because unbeknownst to her my mother had taken away from my sister any legal or medical powers as she died and after. Giving them to me, solely. </p><p></p><p>It is interesting to me that I could not face until now that what I saw as abandonment of my mother...was actually a power grab. I do not see why I could not know this until now.</p><p></p><p>Did I do a power grab, too? In some sense, I did. For my Mother or myself or both? Am I now the family matriarch? Did I become the golden child? Did I seek to be? I do not think so.</p><p></p><p>My sister wanted to be the "golden child", and have the powers and benefits of such.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>No.</p><p></p><p>I just posted an article I found about sibling rivalry that I found useful.</p><p></p><p>Thank you Serenity and Cedar.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 666486, member: 18958"] Yes. And rage at us. Yes. Yes. I agree, except that her rage was at my involvement and threatening to upset her power...up until that point my mother had not acted...all it took for my sister to become discombobulated was to hear me say...I spoke with the social worker... To me this represents the fear of rivalry, and then, loss of role and access to the mother. Ultimately, abandonment. That would fit, because, what my sister did was turn passive to active. Instead of letting my mother abandon her, she first abandoned my mother...as she was dying. And in this way she sought to establish her "power over"...all of us and exact vengeance. If I look at it this way, it was a cold and calculated way to establish matriarchal power in the family...she was establishing her power in place of my mother as she died. I must have sensed this unconsciously. Because I have many times consoled myself that my sister did not win. Because unbeknownst to her my mother had taken away from my sister any legal or medical powers as she died and after. Giving them to me, solely. It is interesting to me that I could not face until now that what I saw as abandonment of my mother...was actually a power grab. I do not see why I could not know this until now. Did I do a power grab, too? In some sense, I did. For my Mother or myself or both? Am I now the family matriarch? Did I become the golden child? Did I seek to be? I do not think so. My sister wanted to be the "golden child", and have the powers and benefits of such. Yes. Yes. No. I just posted an article I found about sibling rivalry that I found useful. Thank you Serenity and Cedar. [/QUOTE]
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