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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 760131" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Waiting,</p><p></p><p>I wanted you to know that I got that book and read most of it but jumped right to the back section on "how I can get better". I will re-read it through and through! It is so informative and reinforces so much of what I already know about myself and my sons behaviors. It uses the word "caretaker" but it's pretty interchangeable with co-dependent and very, very familiar to me. All things I've read and know but I feel it even goes a bit deeper than some co-dependency books I've read. </p><p></p><p>I feel that it has helped me to see things for what they really are with sons behaviors. In my case, I often (LOL, most times) think it's me that's doing something wrong but it's their behavior and knowing that there's nothing "I" can do to change that except to change myself and my worries, fears and anxieties (which is a huge job!) is awakening. I say there is nothing wrong with me but of course, there is because I'm an enabler.</p><p></p><p>It's my own thoughts and behaviors I have to work on and I have so much more work to do. First, being married to an alcoholic for 30 yrs. (which literally warped my poor brain for the rest of my life) and then having two sons with "issues" I have a long road ahead. But I have been at this "healing" process for about 4 yrs. now and have come a long way. I learned in Al-anon we too get "sick" from the behaviors of our loved ones with these issues and it took years to "get sick" and will take many, many more to get better. I am in such a better place in my life now. I do slip back and crumble from time to time but now I have "tools" to put the pieces back together again. </p><p></p><p>I'm a regular humpty dumpty! </p><p></p><p>Anyways...thank you again for that recommendation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 760131, member: 23405"] Waiting, I wanted you to know that I got that book and read most of it but jumped right to the back section on "how I can get better". I will re-read it through and through! It is so informative and reinforces so much of what I already know about myself and my sons behaviors. It uses the word "caretaker" but it's pretty interchangeable with co-dependent and very, very familiar to me. All things I've read and know but I feel it even goes a bit deeper than some co-dependency books I've read. I feel that it has helped me to see things for what they really are with sons behaviors. In my case, I often (LOL, most times) think it's me that's doing something wrong but it's their behavior and knowing that there's nothing "I" can do to change that except to change myself and my worries, fears and anxieties (which is a huge job!) is awakening. I say there is nothing wrong with me but of course, there is because I'm an enabler. It's my own thoughts and behaviors I have to work on and I have so much more work to do. First, being married to an alcoholic for 30 yrs. (which literally warped my poor brain for the rest of my life) and then having two sons with "issues" I have a long road ahead. But I have been at this "healing" process for about 4 yrs. now and have come a long way. I learned in Al-anon we too get "sick" from the behaviors of our loved ones with these issues and it took years to "get sick" and will take many, many more to get better. I am in such a better place in my life now. I do slip back and crumble from time to time but now I have "tools" to put the pieces back together again. I'm a regular humpty dumpty! Anyways...thank you again for that recommendation. [/QUOTE]
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