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Family of Origin
Inclusion vs. Exclusion- blog draft concerning families
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 675439" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is important. I am learning with M to when I am displeased, to keep my mouth shut. Instead I look fierce (my version of it.) I think this amuses him and gives him space reflect. And then he gives his version of apology. Which is to minimize what he did or did not do. But I choose to hear that as an acknowledgement, which is enough for me.</p><p></p><p>In this quote I like the way she goes the extra distance, to give understanding to the other, while maintaining her integrity. It is honest, yet generous. I am grateful that M is somebody I want to do this for. I want to go the extra mile for him. And I am grateful when he does so for me, too.</p><p></p><p>I absolutely love this quote, so much that I will chop it in pieces.</p><p>This part, really points me in the direction of going East. Of taking care of business here. And leaving. Assuming that I will be healthy enough to work into the future, assuming, not just hoping for, the best.I think that has been what my buying has been about. I did not yet feel I could do what I loved. But I could vote with my pocketbook. Flood myself with stuff that would force my hand. I wish I had been, felt stronger...to do it. But I could not. I still cannot. But I will. I think we have to grow into that which we love. Maybe that was the buying. Giving myself all that I needed to grow into it. </p><p></p><p>The only thing I know that I love (in terms of doing) is dancing. And walking in cities. And creative stuff, in general, but not as much as dancing. And I love to eat in fine restaurants, by which I mean very, very good ones. And I like very much to travel. This is a chilling set of thoughts. I believe I lived this way for a long time. I had to work very hard for most of my life. Much of it was to meet goals. That I thought were my own, but really were not. They benefited me, that is true. But these goals of mine were what I thought would serve me. Make me happy. Make me worthy of being loved and respected. So these goals were really instrumental. What I thought would open up doors to things I believed I did not deserve. I did not feel I deserved love and appreciation or respect. Until I achieved. Which of course, is not the case. </p><p></p><p>Everybody deserves these things. Just as they are. Even me. Especially, me. Because I have to begin with myself. </p><p></p><p>In so many ways I learned to abandon myself, as a child. Not entirely. I had my bottom line. But in terms of knowing what I loved, doing what I loved. I lost sight.</p><p></p><p>Thank you. Merry Christmas, everybody.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 675439, member: 18958"] This is important. I am learning with M to when I am displeased, to keep my mouth shut. Instead I look fierce (my version of it.) I think this amuses him and gives him space reflect. And then he gives his version of apology. Which is to minimize what he did or did not do. But I choose to hear that as an acknowledgement, which is enough for me. In this quote I like the way she goes the extra distance, to give understanding to the other, while maintaining her integrity. It is honest, yet generous. I am grateful that M is somebody I want to do this for. I want to go the extra mile for him. And I am grateful when he does so for me, too. I absolutely love this quote, so much that I will chop it in pieces. This part, really points me in the direction of going East. Of taking care of business here. And leaving. Assuming that I will be healthy enough to work into the future, assuming, not just hoping for, the best.I think that has been what my buying has been about. I did not yet feel I could do what I loved. But I could vote with my pocketbook. Flood myself with stuff that would force my hand. I wish I had been, felt stronger...to do it. But I could not. I still cannot. But I will. I think we have to grow into that which we love. Maybe that was the buying. Giving myself all that I needed to grow into it. The only thing I know that I love (in terms of doing) is dancing. And walking in cities. And creative stuff, in general, but not as much as dancing. And I love to eat in fine restaurants, by which I mean very, very good ones. And I like very much to travel. This is a chilling set of thoughts. I believe I lived this way for a long time. I had to work very hard for most of my life. Much of it was to meet goals. That I thought were my own, but really were not. They benefited me, that is true. But these goals of mine were what I thought would serve me. Make me happy. Make me worthy of being loved and respected. So these goals were really instrumental. What I thought would open up doors to things I believed I did not deserve. I did not feel I deserved love and appreciation or respect. Until I achieved. Which of course, is not the case. Everybody deserves these things. Just as they are. Even me. Especially, me. Because I have to begin with myself. In so many ways I learned to abandon myself, as a child. Not entirely. I had my bottom line. But in terms of knowing what I loved, doing what I loved. I lost sight. Thank you. Merry Christmas, everybody. COPA [/QUOTE]
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