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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 608907"><p>Cedar, let me know if you figure it out.</p><p></p><p>I too am in the same place "difficult child PTSD" and it mostly centers on PC16. I think it's the result of all of the self examination/microscope I put myself under when difficult child became difficult child. Where did we go wrong and all of that. "If we had _______ instead of ______; maybe things would be different." "We should have let him _____" We overreacted _____" "We let him down, we let him down, we let him down..." "If only, if only, if only" "We should have, we should have,we should have" ...</p><p></p><p>... and I don't know your difficult child, but my difficult child threw a lot of bombs our way - he was quick to tell us how and where we failed him and how we are completely ignorant failures as human beings all together and throw it on us like a load of dynamite when he attempted to deflect his ill behavior by lighting us on fire.</p><p></p><p>So let me know if you figure it out. I too feel the need to try to make pc16's world perfect in every way. I think it's part approaching empty nest symptom - only 2 more years at home left for him - and partially because I want to reward his PCness with perfect parenting. I want to disprove all those bombs difficult child threw our way and even more; I want to make sure there are no "if only"'s when it comes to PC16.</p><p></p><p>So, I try to cut myself some slack. And you should too. There is nothing worse than doing something out of partial guilt (for lack of a better term) because you are putting pressure on yourself and then serving it with a side of MORE GUILT and PRESSURE topped with self criticism...</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/smile.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":smile:" title="smile :smile:" data-shortname=":smile:" />{{{hugs to you}}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 608907"] Cedar, let me know if you figure it out. I too am in the same place "difficult child PTSD" and it mostly centers on PC16. I think it's the result of all of the self examination/microscope I put myself under when difficult child became difficult child. Where did we go wrong and all of that. "If we had _______ instead of ______; maybe things would be different." "We should have let him _____" We overreacted _____" "We let him down, we let him down, we let him down..." "If only, if only, if only" "We should have, we should have,we should have" ... ... and I don't know your difficult child, but my difficult child threw a lot of bombs our way - he was quick to tell us how and where we failed him and how we are completely ignorant failures as human beings all together and throw it on us like a load of dynamite when he attempted to deflect his ill behavior by lighting us on fire. So let me know if you figure it out. I too feel the need to try to make pc16's world perfect in every way. I think it's part approaching empty nest symptom - only 2 more years at home left for him - and partially because I want to reward his PCness with perfect parenting. I want to disprove all those bombs difficult child threw our way and even more; I want to make sure there are no "if only"'s when it comes to PC16. So, I try to cut myself some slack. And you should too. There is nothing worse than doing something out of partial guilt (for lack of a better term) because you are putting pressure on yourself and then serving it with a side of MORE GUILT and PRESSURE topped with self criticism... :smile:{{{hugs to you}}}} [/QUOTE]
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