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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 608989" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Cedar I have various responses to your post.........................well, perhaps they are simply my musings ..........</p><p></p><p>......... your post reminded me of my old group facilitation days when I would listen to folks talk about something they felt bad about. Within a moment, they would start recalling other, old events where they messed up in the same way, or felt ashamed, or were inadequate in some similar way........I started calling it the 'dirt file' where we go to find all the old crummy things we have done or thought we did so we can add to the present bad feeling and really give it weight. It seems we all have that file, easy access to everything we ever did wrong............. It got to be a joke in the groups. You could hear it when someone began that process............one tiny thing, out comes the <em>dirt file</em>......... and in a minute they were ready to stand accused of being a serial killer! After awhile we called each other out on this practice, to get ourselves aware of how prevalent it is.........once aware we do it, it's easier to begin stopping it.</p><p></p><p>Not like I haven't done that myself. But, it is self cruelty. It is all the unexpressed real or perceived infractions which we swallowed and/or quickly pushed down so as not to feel. After awhile that stuff is like a giant beach ball which when you try to push it underneath the water, you may succeed temporarily but it will come out of that water with an incredible force. I think that's what happens in our minds. We push all this unwanted, negative stuff down, year after year, so when there is a little bit of an opening, like a drama of some sort, a crack in the veneer, that material comes shooting out like the beach ball. </p><p></p><p>It isn't being done to us. We do it to ourselves. (obviously not everyone masters this, just those of us who have a negative self image) By our avoidance patterns, our denial of the truth, our keeping all that doesn't fit cleanly into the lines--out, by not expressing our fears, our shortcomings, our human frailties, our perceived weaknesses, disappointments, hurts, angers, sadness, all of it............it accumulates and gains momentum and screams to get out of the well appointed container we call the Self.</p><p></p><p>My old meditation teacher told me the mind is a wonderful servant but a cruel master. That's why meditation is valuable, it quiets the mind so you can actually hear your heart, your voice, your intuition, your creativity, your beauty, your <em>awesome self.</em> Yoga does that. Walking does that. Music does that. Dance, movement, laughter............prayer..........anything that quiets the mind gives us a tiny moment between thoughts or breaths.........and in that moment ..............<u><em>.is where peace begins........</em></u></p><p><u><em></em></u></p><p>The rest is the dance of the crazy 'monkey mind', the unrelenting thoughts of mostly negativity. Someone calculated that we have 52,000 thoughts per day. Imagine how many of them are positive. Not too many. Most of it is us spending time beating ourselves up, wondering what kind of an idiot forgets our keys, trips, says the wrong thing, oversleeps..................good Lord..........what is YOUR self talk like?</p><p></p><p>"Resistance is futile." (Star Trek). "What we resist, persists". It doesn't go away. A holistic Dr. I went to told me that the "body never forgets" whatever we go through is stored <em>somewhere..</em>..........think of all that is just not expressed. How we stifle our negative out of control feelings. Where do they go? They're stored in the memory. In the mind. And, in the body. </p><p></p><p>I think when we change this kind of thinking, however we do that, we open a whole new pathway where a certain calm prevails............and in that calm, ideas spring forth, intuitive hits flourish, lightness, fun, gratitude and ease expand. </p><p></p><p>*The other day I was ruminating about retiring and sort of resenting not being there yet. I thought what kinds of things would I be doing if I were now retired. So, on Friday, I came home early and said to SO, let's go to the ocean and watch the sunset. We did. It was so beautiful, we felt like we were given a wonderful gift of remarkable beauty. We stopped in an ocean view dive and had fish and chips. On Saturday we went to San Francisco, walked all around, had lunch, drove part of the way home and discovered this gorgeous park on the bay. We spent a few more hours there. I had decided to "act as if" I am already retired and we are already doing that kind of stuff. So, now we have this book of trails and hikes all around Northern Ca. that we intend to cross off as we do them, one by one. My whole mindset shifted into a different perception. I feel so happy about it too! I think that kind of thinking is a result of clearing out my mind of all the old debris.............and of course, detachment from my 'out there' family members. In that empty space, as I once heard someone say, "magic happens." </p><p></p><p>This is somewhat new to me too, so as Cedar mentioned, <em>I will report on my findings.......</em></p><p><em></em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 608989, member: 13542"] Cedar I have various responses to your post.........................well, perhaps they are simply my musings .......... ......... your post reminded me of my old group facilitation days when I would listen to folks talk about something they felt bad about. Within a moment, they would start recalling other, old events where they messed up in the same way, or felt ashamed, or were inadequate in some similar way........I started calling it the 'dirt file' where we go to find all the old crummy things we have done or thought we did so we can add to the present bad feeling and really give it weight. It seems we all have that file, easy access to everything we ever did wrong............. It got to be a joke in the groups. You could hear it when someone began that process............one tiny thing, out comes the [I]dirt file[/I]......... and in a minute they were ready to stand accused of being a serial killer! After awhile we called each other out on this practice, to get ourselves aware of how prevalent it is.........once aware we do it, it's easier to begin stopping it. Not like I haven't done that myself. But, it is self cruelty. It is all the unexpressed real or perceived infractions which we swallowed and/or quickly pushed down so as not to feel. After awhile that stuff is like a giant beach ball which when you try to push it underneath the water, you may succeed temporarily but it will come out of that water with an incredible force. I think that's what happens in our minds. We push all this unwanted, negative stuff down, year after year, so when there is a little bit of an opening, like a drama of some sort, a crack in the veneer, that material comes shooting out like the beach ball. It isn't being done to us. We do it to ourselves. (obviously not everyone masters this, just those of us who have a negative self image) By our avoidance patterns, our denial of the truth, our keeping all that doesn't fit cleanly into the lines--out, by not expressing our fears, our shortcomings, our human frailties, our perceived weaknesses, disappointments, hurts, angers, sadness, all of it............it accumulates and gains momentum and screams to get out of the well appointed container we call the Self. My old meditation teacher told me the mind is a wonderful servant but a cruel master. That's why meditation is valuable, it quiets the mind so you can actually hear your heart, your voice, your intuition, your creativity, your beauty, your [I]awesome self.[/I] Yoga does that. Walking does that. Music does that. Dance, movement, laughter............prayer..........anything that quiets the mind gives us a tiny moment between thoughts or breaths.........and in that moment ..............[U][I].is where peace begins........ [/I][/U] The rest is the dance of the crazy 'monkey mind', the unrelenting thoughts of mostly negativity. Someone calculated that we have 52,000 thoughts per day. Imagine how many of them are positive. Not too many. Most of it is us spending time beating ourselves up, wondering what kind of an idiot forgets our keys, trips, says the wrong thing, oversleeps..................good Lord..........what is YOUR self talk like? "Resistance is futile." (Star Trek). "What we resist, persists". It doesn't go away. A holistic Dr. I went to told me that the "body never forgets" whatever we go through is stored [I]somewhere..[/I]..........think of all that is just not expressed. How we stifle our negative out of control feelings. Where do they go? They're stored in the memory. In the mind. And, in the body. I think when we change this kind of thinking, however we do that, we open a whole new pathway where a certain calm prevails............and in that calm, ideas spring forth, intuitive hits flourish, lightness, fun, gratitude and ease expand. *The other day I was ruminating about retiring and sort of resenting not being there yet. I thought what kinds of things would I be doing if I were now retired. So, on Friday, I came home early and said to SO, let's go to the ocean and watch the sunset. We did. It was so beautiful, we felt like we were given a wonderful gift of remarkable beauty. We stopped in an ocean view dive and had fish and chips. On Saturday we went to San Francisco, walked all around, had lunch, drove part of the way home and discovered this gorgeous park on the bay. We spent a few more hours there. I had decided to "act as if" I am already retired and we are already doing that kind of stuff. So, now we have this book of trails and hikes all around Northern Ca. that we intend to cross off as we do them, one by one. My whole mindset shifted into a different perception. I feel so happy about it too! I think that kind of thinking is a result of clearing out my mind of all the old debris.............and of course, detachment from my 'out there' family members. In that empty space, as I once heard someone say, "magic happens." This is somewhat new to me too, so as Cedar mentioned, [I]I will report on my findings....... [/I] [/QUOTE]
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