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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 711829" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I'm not sure Copa. This is a Latin Family. Mind you, they have been separated from a large part of their family. They have always been a huge cohesive family. I've always been very impressed by this.</p><p>Then my friend's husband did something that was deemed inappropriate. Several cousins and their family spoke up and separated. This is unheard of.</p><p>My friend and her husband went on a campaign to make sure the rest of the family stayed on "their side."</p><p>We wanted to be loyal friends, and, of course stayed on their side, even though we wondered about it.</p><p>It's hard to say if my friend and her husband had to go to any extremes because I think their family's attitude is to simply let anything and everything go...even if a person feels cheated, etc. But, they went on this weird campaign to make sure the rest of the family saw it from their perspective.</p><p></p><p>They have a very elitist attitude. All major holidays HAD to be celebrated at their home. After awhile, I think this got a little old.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I have almost no family, were burdened greatly by a Difficult Child, I have major health problems and barely worked all these years and they looked at us as "poor x and x." They were particularly amazed by our Difficult Child.</p><p></p><p>A few years ago, my husband changed careers ever so slightly. A variety of factors were involved. It is a related field. He liked it better and it paid better. He has done well. We stayed on a budget. Meanwhile, several years ago, her husband lost his job. He did not get another. They have a large house. It's basically impossible that they were able to maintain that large home. Perhaps her parents helped out. Hard to say. But, this likely is part of that "elitist" thing. Must maintain the large house...</p><p></p><p>When it became noticeable that we were doing well...they started pulling back from us. They have looked down upon us.</p><p></p><p>We made good frineds with a lady from a South American country that sometimes would do housekeeping but also did babysitting. This is someone they knew indirectly because she was at our house a lot. I recall one time the husband said, "You know I like 'b" because she knows her place." I recall being shocked out of my mind. The truth is we care deeply for "b." It just seemed like a horrible thing to think, never mind "say."</p><p></p><p>But, now we realize they kind of thought of us similarly to the way they think of "b."</p><p></p><p>My husband had a professional job (just retired) for over thirty years. At the retirement luncheon recently, people were in tears. They (my friends) are angry (jealous) that he will receive a pension. They (mostly husband) even has made subtle noise about it "not being fair." My husband also maintained a professional consultant business, which as I mentioned in recent years he has altered in a different arena that is more lucrative.</p><p></p><p>Anyway who truly knows my husband can't help but admire him. He often works from 8 am to 10 pm</p><p></p><p>These friends of 30 years never called or even texted when he retired.</p><p></p><p>Both my husband and I have tried to look at this as they obviously have major issues.</p><p></p><p>That weirdo comment is kind of bothering us. They recently sold their home and are more solvent than they have been in the past probably seven years. My husband actually said "watch as soon as they sell their home, they will act more peculiar ..." I can't type it out all here, but he called something things verbatim.</p><p></p><p>I was saying to hubby yesterday, I would be hard pressed to describe this odd situation to anyone.</p><p>I think it is a horrible class thing combined with something else. Jealousy would be high on my list of guesses. But, it's only a guess. It is painful to think that we were some sort of "fodder" for them ....poor so and so. No matter how much we mess up, we wont be as poor as soo and soo. We wont have as many problems as so and so (because they have a Difficult Child). We make more money than so and so. We have a bigger family than so and so.We have a bigger house than so and so.</p><p></p><p>But, to make good money even with crazy health problems and a Difficult Child....not that this is what we were going for...took tremendous skill, self control and very hard work. I would think that would be something to be admired. I think (know) my husband is a hero.</p><p></p><p>This has been a very hurtful situation...but somehow after that bizarre conversation, I'm starting to feel a little better. I might be seeing it a tad clearer.</p><p></p><p>I think the real truth is these friends might actually be the ones that are "low class," ... the very thing they think of other people and may think of us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 711829, member: 4152"] I'm not sure Copa. This is a Latin Family. Mind you, they have been separated from a large part of their family. They have always been a huge cohesive family. I've always been very impressed by this. Then my friend's husband did something that was deemed inappropriate. Several cousins and their family spoke up and separated. This is unheard of. My friend and her husband went on a campaign to make sure the rest of the family stayed on "their side." We wanted to be loyal friends, and, of course stayed on their side, even though we wondered about it. It's hard to say if my friend and her husband had to go to any extremes because I think their family's attitude is to simply let anything and everything go...even if a person feels cheated, etc. But, they went on this weird campaign to make sure the rest of the family saw it from their perspective. They have a very elitist attitude. All major holidays HAD to be celebrated at their home. After awhile, I think this got a little old. My husband and I have almost no family, were burdened greatly by a Difficult Child, I have major health problems and barely worked all these years and they looked at us as "poor x and x." They were particularly amazed by our Difficult Child. A few years ago, my husband changed careers ever so slightly. A variety of factors were involved. It is a related field. He liked it better and it paid better. He has done well. We stayed on a budget. Meanwhile, several years ago, her husband lost his job. He did not get another. They have a large house. It's basically impossible that they were able to maintain that large home. Perhaps her parents helped out. Hard to say. But, this likely is part of that "elitist" thing. Must maintain the large house... When it became noticeable that we were doing well...they started pulling back from us. They have looked down upon us. We made good frineds with a lady from a South American country that sometimes would do housekeeping but also did babysitting. This is someone they knew indirectly because she was at our house a lot. I recall one time the husband said, "You know I like 'b" because she knows her place." I recall being shocked out of my mind. The truth is we care deeply for "b." It just seemed like a horrible thing to think, never mind "say." But, now we realize they kind of thought of us similarly to the way they think of "b." My husband had a professional job (just retired) for over thirty years. At the retirement luncheon recently, people were in tears. They (my friends) are angry (jealous) that he will receive a pension. They (mostly husband) even has made subtle noise about it "not being fair." My husband also maintained a professional consultant business, which as I mentioned in recent years he has altered in a different arena that is more lucrative. Anyway who truly knows my husband can't help but admire him. He often works from 8 am to 10 pm These friends of 30 years never called or even texted when he retired. Both my husband and I have tried to look at this as they obviously have major issues. That weirdo comment is kind of bothering us. They recently sold their home and are more solvent than they have been in the past probably seven years. My husband actually said "watch as soon as they sell their home, they will act more peculiar ..." I can't type it out all here, but he called something things verbatim. I was saying to hubby yesterday, I would be hard pressed to describe this odd situation to anyone. I think it is a horrible class thing combined with something else. Jealousy would be high on my list of guesses. But, it's only a guess. It is painful to think that we were some sort of "fodder" for them ....poor so and so. No matter how much we mess up, we wont be as poor as soo and soo. We wont have as many problems as so and so (because they have a Difficult Child). We make more money than so and so. We have a bigger family than so and so.We have a bigger house than so and so. But, to make good money even with crazy health problems and a Difficult Child....not that this is what we were going for...took tremendous skill, self control and very hard work. I would think that would be something to be admired. I think (know) my husband is a hero. This has been a very hurtful situation...but somehow after that bizarre conversation, I'm starting to feel a little better. I might be seeing it a tad clearer. I think the real truth is these friends might actually be the ones that are "low class," ... the very thing they think of other people and may think of us. [/QUOTE]
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