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Substance Abuse
Is detaching ok right now? Or cruel?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 680998" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Rebelson, Glad you are going to an alanon meeting soon. I found it a huge help to me!</p><p></p><p>And yes night time is the worst. Between my worries and menopause I found when I am worried I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep! It is also the time when I often feel things and worry most deeply.</p><p></p><p>So first things first.... You have to help yourself deal with the anxiety. It sounds like leaving your phone on creates anxiety and blocking him also leaves you with anxiety. What about leaving your phone on silent and leaving it somewhere else for a few hours at a time..... And then having a couple of times a day where you check it? That way you can prepare yourself to check it and have it be a time when you are not in the middle of something else. You do not need to immediately respond to his text messages even if he thinks you should. </p><p></p><p>I also think it totallly fine to block him if that is what you need to do to reduce your anxiety. I am just trying to come up with some middle ground. Saying you just need to be stronger doesn't work..... You are where you are and giving yourself a hard time because you are not someplace different doesn't help.</p><p></p><p>I think one of the things alanon helped me with is acceptance of where I am at and where he is at.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 680998, member: 15801"] Rebelson, Glad you are going to an alanon meeting soon. I found it a huge help to me! And yes night time is the worst. Between my worries and menopause I found when I am worried I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep! It is also the time when I often feel things and worry most deeply. So first things first.... You have to help yourself deal with the anxiety. It sounds like leaving your phone on creates anxiety and blocking him also leaves you with anxiety. What about leaving your phone on silent and leaving it somewhere else for a few hours at a time..... And then having a couple of times a day where you check it? That way you can prepare yourself to check it and have it be a time when you are not in the middle of something else. You do not need to immediately respond to his text messages even if he thinks you should. I also think it totallly fine to block him if that is what you need to do to reduce your anxiety. I am just trying to come up with some middle ground. Saying you just need to be stronger doesn't work..... You are where you are and giving yourself a hard time because you are not someplace different doesn't help. I think one of the things alanon helped me with is acceptance of where I am at and where he is at. [/QUOTE]
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Is detaching ok right now? Or cruel?
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