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Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 687616" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>The best way to describe it for me isn't anger. I don't feel angry. I am done feeling anything except vague discomfort when she does public things to shame me. Even that has less and less impact on me. It is more like I have taken my ball and gone home. I don't want to play anymore. I am tired of running back and forth, serving that ball, hoping for a response, a team effort in our relationship. I have just accepted that this is who she is and she has no interest in a relationship with me beyond gaining or taking something. I have accepted that there is not one thing I can do to change her; she has to do it herself. Like SWOT said about her mother, I feel like she is a stranger. Truly a stranger, and I don't know her at all. And I don't want to know this person because she is so abusive. I have decided I am tired of the verbal abuse, emotional blackmail, fear tactics, public shame and embarrassment, backstabbing, lying, manipulation. I am just picking up my ball and going home. </p><p></p><p>Rebel - If she only did these things when she was using, I might be able to just put the blame on the drugs, not let it affect me. She doesn't. She can sometimes be worse when she is sober, and she intentionally will say the most hurtful, personal things she can think of. </p><p></p><p>She texted me a happy Mother's Day today. First contact in over a month. I felt nothing except, "I wonder what she is up to," because she hasn't wished me a happy Mother's Day or birthday or Merry Christmas in longer than I can remember. My instinct was to delete it and ignore it because it means nothing to me. I just texted a thank you and then deleted it. It wouldn't have hurt me had she not acknowledged the day, but it means nothing to me that she did.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 687616, member: 19905"] The best way to describe it for me isn't anger. I don't feel angry. I am done feeling anything except vague discomfort when she does public things to shame me. Even that has less and less impact on me. It is more like I have taken my ball and gone home. I don't want to play anymore. I am tired of running back and forth, serving that ball, hoping for a response, a team effort in our relationship. I have just accepted that this is who she is and she has no interest in a relationship with me beyond gaining or taking something. I have accepted that there is not one thing I can do to change her; she has to do it herself. Like SWOT said about her mother, I feel like she is a stranger. Truly a stranger, and I don't know her at all. And I don't want to know this person because she is so abusive. I have decided I am tired of the verbal abuse, emotional blackmail, fear tactics, public shame and embarrassment, backstabbing, lying, manipulation. I am just picking up my ball and going home. Rebel - If she only did these things when she was using, I might be able to just put the blame on the drugs, not let it affect me. She doesn't. She can sometimes be worse when she is sober, and she intentionally will say the most hurtful, personal things she can think of. She texted me a happy Mother's Day today. First contact in over a month. I felt nothing except, "I wonder what she is up to," because she hasn't wished me a happy Mother's Day or birthday or Merry Christmas in longer than I can remember. My instinct was to delete it and ignore it because it means nothing to me. I just texted a thank you and then deleted it. It wouldn't have hurt me had she not acknowledged the day, but it means nothing to me that she did. [/QUOTE]
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Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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