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Is it time to cut daughter loose?
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 487213"><p>Hi Marcia! Welcome to PE</p><p></p><p>Of course you can kick her out - but sometimes that's like going from the frying pan to the fire. it seems to solve the initial problem yet often creates a worse crisis and more worry for YOU. </p><p></p><p>I think I would work out a timeline with her moving out as the end result...that she needs to get a job or go back to school, be more responsible, etc. I imagine she has some sort of "allowance" if she is not working? I'd give her a 6 week grace period to get a job and then cut off of the "allowance". Once she starts to work, I would work toward the goal of her moving out. Set a target amount for her to save - maybe insist she pay "you" that amount first from each paycheck and once it equals "X" amount and she has employment security- she start looking for a place to live.</p><p></p><p>Of course, she has to know that if she does none of this, you are giving her (4 weeks? 3 months?) before you insist she leave. </p><p></p><p>Additionally, I would write out a standard of guidelines for her while she is living in your house and spell them out to her. And let her know that stealing is immediate grounds for moving out. I hate the term "kicking out". It's her choice when she moves out - with or without a job, with just the clothes on her back or with a savings account. Know what I mean?? Behaviors and consequences...</p><p></p><p>Again, welcome to PE <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 487213"] Hi Marcia! Welcome to PE Of course you can kick her out - but sometimes that's like going from the frying pan to the fire. it seems to solve the initial problem yet often creates a worse crisis and more worry for YOU. I think I would work out a timeline with her moving out as the end result...that she needs to get a job or go back to school, be more responsible, etc. I imagine she has some sort of "allowance" if she is not working? I'd give her a 6 week grace period to get a job and then cut off of the "allowance". Once she starts to work, I would work toward the goal of her moving out. Set a target amount for her to save - maybe insist she pay "you" that amount first from each paycheck and once it equals "X" amount and she has employment security- she start looking for a place to live. Of course, she has to know that if she does none of this, you are giving her (4 weeks? 3 months?) before you insist she leave. Additionally, I would write out a standard of guidelines for her while she is living in your house and spell them out to her. And let her know that stealing is immediate grounds for moving out. I hate the term "kicking out". It's her choice when she moves out - with or without a job, with just the clothes on her back or with a savings account. Know what I mean?? Behaviors and consequences... Again, welcome to PE :-) [/QUOTE]
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Is it time to cut daughter loose?
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