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The Watercooler
Is pushing (not hitting) abuse?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 367642" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It is OK for her to want to work it out. If she is insisting this is what she intends, all you can do is be supportive of her decision and make sure she owns that decision 100%. But if she does intend to work it out, then she needs to do so with her eyes wide open, knowing that yes, this IS abuse.</p><p></p><p>Abuse like this does not have to instantly be a dealbreaker. For some people, it is not. If she can see a clearer picture of what defines abuse, then she is better equipped to have success in working this out. Yes, she also has to accept responsibility where it lies with her, ad change her own behaviour where she believes it genuinely is triggering his. But they need to work together.</p><p></p><p>Make sure she understands - denial won't help her succeed in saving this relationship. being open with herself gives her the best chance of success with him. And accepting the truth that this is abuse, does not mean she has to leave. If anything, it gives her a handle on which to hang her hat and get to work.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 367642, member: 1991"] It is OK for her to want to work it out. If she is insisting this is what she intends, all you can do is be supportive of her decision and make sure she owns that decision 100%. But if she does intend to work it out, then she needs to do so with her eyes wide open, knowing that yes, this IS abuse. Abuse like this does not have to instantly be a dealbreaker. For some people, it is not. If she can see a clearer picture of what defines abuse, then she is better equipped to have success in working this out. Yes, she also has to accept responsibility where it lies with her, ad change her own behaviour where she believes it genuinely is triggering his. But they need to work together. Make sure she understands - denial won't help her succeed in saving this relationship. being open with herself gives her the best chance of success with him. And accepting the truth that this is abuse, does not mean she has to leave. If anything, it gives her a handle on which to hang her hat and get to work. Marg [/QUOTE]
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Is pushing (not hitting) abuse?
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