Janet, I just saw this or I would have responded sooner. I too think that sending Ant away and not p0articipating in his chaous is absolutly the best thing for both you and Ant.
As far as boyfriend goes i think you are wise to go very slowly. Truly you haven't given yourself a break from him. He has been calling and popping in and out of both your life and your thoughts on a very constant basis. Pursuing friendships with your "galpals" and hobbies such as your book group is an excellent way of learning more about yourself and your needs.
When you no longer "need" a man in your life and feel fulfilled in every aspect other than that you are ready for a deeply fulfilling relationship. i truly believe that when we have evolved to the point that we can honestly replace the word "need" by "want" a relationship, that is the ideal. The relationship then is an additive to an already fulfilling life and is much healthier and less stressed.
I am sending you many (((((((HUGS)))))))))))) and prayers. I hope that you experience peace and serenity everyday for the rest of your life. -RM
