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Is there no hope?
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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 697212" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>Hi and welcome. Yes, please change photo and name for anonymity.</p><p></p><p>If you read here long enough you will find a mixture of adult children who are still struggling, some who will never change and some who have decided they wanted a better life for themselves because they have run out of friends, family, resources and hit rock bottom. Some also, can only change so much due to disabilities. </p><p></p><p>Some parents have tried to help their children to the point of costing themselves their emotional, mental and physical health. They detached for self-survival. Other parents are still trying to figure out how to get their children to change their lives and not ready to let go. At some point, we all have to make the decision that is best for our lives and our adult children. </p><p></p><p>There is hope only when our adult children want a better life for themselves more then we do.</p><p></p><p>Best thing you can is provide information for resources for help with whatever is challenging him. If drugs, alcohol, mental health issues point him to rehab and community help centers. YOU can't fix him- he has to fix himself. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes we have to give up on them so they can desire the willingness to change their lives. Trust me, you are not his be all- should you walk away. There are way too many resources out there to help your son, if he wants help bad enough. </p><p></p><p>We all have enabled them in some way with either with our resources such as housing, auto's, money or drain ourselves emotionally, mentally and physically. We fall apart and they haven't a clue of the damage they have done to their loved ones. Somehow, they are like rolling stones, they find a way to make it somehow. It's not how we envisioned their life would be; hoped for them. But, they are adults and they make their own choices. IT's their book, we have to let them write it to the ending.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 697212, member: 19951"] Hi and welcome. Yes, please change photo and name for anonymity. If you read here long enough you will find a mixture of adult children who are still struggling, some who will never change and some who have decided they wanted a better life for themselves because they have run out of friends, family, resources and hit rock bottom. Some also, can only change so much due to disabilities. Some parents have tried to help their children to the point of costing themselves their emotional, mental and physical health. They detached for self-survival. Other parents are still trying to figure out how to get their children to change their lives and not ready to let go. At some point, we all have to make the decision that is best for our lives and our adult children. There is hope only when our adult children want a better life for themselves more then we do. Best thing you can is provide information for resources for help with whatever is challenging him. If drugs, alcohol, mental health issues point him to rehab and community help centers. YOU can't fix him- he has to fix himself. Sometimes we have to give up on them so they can desire the willingness to change their lives. Trust me, you are not his be all- should you walk away. There are way too many resources out there to help your son, if he wants help bad enough. We all have enabled them in some way with either with our resources such as housing, auto's, money or drain ourselves emotionally, mentally and physically. We fall apart and they haven't a clue of the damage they have done to their loved ones. Somehow, they are like rolling stones, they find a way to make it somehow. It's not how we envisioned their life would be; hoped for them. But, they are adults and they make their own choices. IT's their book, we have to let them write it to the ending. [/QUOTE]
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