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Substance Abuse
Is this something that you shouldn't do
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 741512" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Trying, you did nothing wrong, hon. Nothing.</p><p></p><p>This is not about you.</p><p></p><p>Addicts can be fine for a while then slip. It is part of recovery. If he slid thats why he didnt answer. Drugs also take away social graces and that could be why he didnt thank grandparents. If he is still sober, and hopefully he is, it takes time for the addicted brain to heal to normal.</p><p></p><p>Think about these things.</p><p></p><p>Who choose for him to live 1000 miles away? Probably him. What can you do in an emergency?</p><p></p><p>Nothing.</p><p></p><p>He would have to get professional help, call 911. As parents we think we can make everything better and maybe if they were ten years old we could. But youre dealing with adult issues here and only medical people can help even if you lived next door. Our presence doesn't solve emergencies of adult magnitude.</p><p></p><p>I totally agree that nobody needs to pay his cc bills, car payments, rent etc .He was sober for 60 days and still may be. He can work. Depression, next to anxiety, is a very common mental health disorder (I had very bad depression for a few decades) and people who have it work and it is also very treatable. Is he helping himself feel better? Therapy? Legal medication? Nope. And you couldnt force that even if you lived next door.</p><p></p><p>He doesnt want his family near him. Many adults who love their parents as your son loves you, live across the country. As Moms we miss them dearly, but they make their choices. Your son's reasons for moving so far may be bad reasons such as he doesnt want you to know when he is off the rails. Or a girl. Or pot is legal there. Whatever it is, he wants to be where he is or he would come back. Or beg to come back.</p><p></p><p>Please try to remember that your son is a grown man (not that sweet little boy,) and needs and wants to take care of himself. Or try to. And this is very normal!</p><p></p><p>If you believe in a higher power, it helps to give your loved ones over to something much bigger than yourself. I dont think I could have done life without that. If you dont believe in a higher power, there is still a strength in yourself, a higher self, that can lead you and help you cope. Believe that you can stand this and that you have done all you can to give your son the awesome foundation he needs if he chooses to tap into it.</p><p></p><p>I hope you hear something soon. Whatever you ultimately decide to do is okay and supported by all of us.Just please be well and try to take care of YOU. Yes, it is hard but we can try. Please try.</p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 741512, member: 1550"] Trying, you did nothing wrong, hon. Nothing. This is not about you. Addicts can be fine for a while then slip. It is part of recovery. If he slid thats why he didnt answer. Drugs also take away social graces and that could be why he didnt thank grandparents. If he is still sober, and hopefully he is, it takes time for the addicted brain to heal to normal. Think about these things. Who choose for him to live 1000 miles away? Probably him. What can you do in an emergency? Nothing. He would have to get professional help, call 911. As parents we think we can make everything better and maybe if they were ten years old we could. But youre dealing with adult issues here and only medical people can help even if you lived next door. Our presence doesn't solve emergencies of adult magnitude. I totally agree that nobody needs to pay his cc bills, car payments, rent etc .He was sober for 60 days and still may be. He can work. Depression, next to anxiety, is a very common mental health disorder (I had very bad depression for a few decades) and people who have it work and it is also very treatable. Is he helping himself feel better? Therapy? Legal medication? Nope. And you couldnt force that even if you lived next door. He doesnt want his family near him. Many adults who love their parents as your son loves you, live across the country. As Moms we miss them dearly, but they make their choices. Your son's reasons for moving so far may be bad reasons such as he doesnt want you to know when he is off the rails. Or a girl. Or pot is legal there. Whatever it is, he wants to be where he is or he would come back. Or beg to come back. Please try to remember that your son is a grown man (not that sweet little boy,) and needs and wants to take care of himself. Or try to. And this is very normal! If you believe in a higher power, it helps to give your loved ones over to something much bigger than yourself. I dont think I could have done life without that. If you dont believe in a higher power, there is still a strength in yourself, a higher self, that can lead you and help you cope. Believe that you can stand this and that you have done all you can to give your son the awesome foundation he needs if he chooses to tap into it. I hope you hear something soon. Whatever you ultimately decide to do is okay and supported by all of us.Just please be well and try to take care of YOU. Yes, it is hard but we can try. Please try. Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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Is this something that you shouldn't do
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