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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 754733" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>Beebz</p><p>Oh boy are you going through it right now. My vision is of you being on the roller coaster coming down a large hill with your stomach in your throat right now. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Or using our own special version of dark humor living in our strange alternate universe you could re-frame this experience as something you've crossed off your bucket list. Not that it was ever on that list to begin with, but gee look at what I've done, lol! I've crossed a few things my son has done off my bucket list, things which I would never have imagined would have been there.</p><p></p><p>My son is not on heroin, he is a drinking (nasty drinker), pot smoking, acid tripping, bipolar disordered, extremely verbally abusive person. My son is as sick as your son. But my son does not call me "mom", he calls me names no mother should ever hear. He does not admit to flaws and faults as your son does, he makes up confabulations of rewritten history that fit his victim narrative. I think day to day it's harder on moms who have adult children who see their short comings verses moms in my situation. I can feel how it pulls on your heartstrings so much more. </p><p></p><p>I hope he finds what he needs for himself where he is. I hope he gets to be sober long enough to absorb the notion he can do better for himself. I know heroin is terrible but then I also know of people do come out from the other side. </p><p></p><p>I also hope you get the time and distance to detach from him enough to be able to do for you. You have no control over him, no matter what he says to you, no matter how hard he tugs on your Momma heartstrings. You can't make him better, or be a better person for him. From just my personal point of view all you can do is to help yourself and at the same time only get out of his way.</p><p></p><p>I know you are just starting to work through all of this and with all of your responsibilities I so hope you find the time to take care of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 754733, member: 22840"] Beebz Oh boy are you going through it right now. My vision is of you being on the roller coaster coming down a large hill with your stomach in your throat right now. Or using our own special version of dark humor living in our strange alternate universe you could re-frame this experience as something you've crossed off your bucket list. Not that it was ever on that list to begin with, but gee look at what I've done, lol! I've crossed a few things my son has done off my bucket list, things which I would never have imagined would have been there. My son is not on heroin, he is a drinking (nasty drinker), pot smoking, acid tripping, bipolar disordered, extremely verbally abusive person. My son is as sick as your son. But my son does not call me "mom", he calls me names no mother should ever hear. He does not admit to flaws and faults as your son does, he makes up confabulations of rewritten history that fit his victim narrative. I think day to day it's harder on moms who have adult children who see their short comings verses moms in my situation. I can feel how it pulls on your heartstrings so much more. I hope he finds what he needs for himself where he is. I hope he gets to be sober long enough to absorb the notion he can do better for himself. I know heroin is terrible but then I also know of people do come out from the other side. I also hope you get the time and distance to detach from him enough to be able to do for you. You have no control over him, no matter what he says to you, no matter how hard he tugs on your Momma heartstrings. You can't make him better, or be a better person for him. From just my personal point of view all you can do is to help yourself and at the same time only get out of his way. I know you are just starting to work through all of this and with all of your responsibilities I so hope you find the time to take care of you. [/QUOTE]
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