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<blockquote data-quote="skittles" data-source="post: 754774" data-attributes="member: 2484"><p>Overwhelmed,</p><p>You have nothing to be sorry for to me ir your kids<img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="☺️" title="Smiling face :relaxed:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/263a.png" data-shortname=":relaxed:" /> Im laughing because we are the people we are, we right away worry about offending each other and start apologizing. No wonder others that advantage of us so easily. lol Not a laughing matter i know but we have to have a sense of humour about it. I relate to what you said about the kids being generally happy growing up. I thought mine were too, but my older son particularly tells me all kinds nasty things that I don’t remember.Is it selective memory on my part or is it a manipulative memory on his. I choose to believe my version. I may not of been perfect but none of us are I did the best I could and I’m sure you did the best you could. I think the only thing we can truly be guilty of is loving too much. and I think they should be thankful that they’ve had such supportive and caring parents that have put up with so much BS from them. They got away with it when they were young but they’re adults now no matter what they think we did right or wrong , they have enough smarts to figure it out on their own now. they can’t blame us forever that’s just a cop out and excuse. but as long as were willing to blame ourselves they have no reason to let go of that excuse. Truly read the various books recommended here, the article on detachment in the forum here is particularly helpful and finding a good therapist can do wonders. I thought I was doing OK for the longest time, but my anxiety was getting so bad And I couldn’t even make plans for myself without worrying if my sons ex-girlfriend was going to need me for something for the kids. or I would make plans and then change everything to make excuses and lies to people so that I could run and do what she wanted. my anxiety progressed into depression at which point I finally realized I needed professional help. I spent only six months with a therapist as my medical plan wouldn’t cover anymore but that six months was such a lifesaver for me. I think the fact your here is a great step. We are all here because we relize we need help, thats the first step in fixing ourselves instead of someone else. Hopeful isnt it?<img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="❤️" title="Red heart :heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/2764.png" data-shortname=":heart:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="skittles, post: 754774, member: 2484"] Overwhelmed, You have nothing to be sorry for to me ir your kids☺️ Im laughing because we are the people we are, we right away worry about offending each other and start apologizing. No wonder others that advantage of us so easily. lol Not a laughing matter i know but we have to have a sense of humour about it. I relate to what you said about the kids being generally happy growing up. I thought mine were too, but my older son particularly tells me all kinds nasty things that I don’t remember.Is it selective memory on my part or is it a manipulative memory on his. I choose to believe my version. I may not of been perfect but none of us are I did the best I could and I’m sure you did the best you could. I think the only thing we can truly be guilty of is loving too much. and I think they should be thankful that they’ve had such supportive and caring parents that have put up with so much BS from them. They got away with it when they were young but they’re adults now no matter what they think we did right or wrong , they have enough smarts to figure it out on their own now. they can’t blame us forever that’s just a cop out and excuse. but as long as were willing to blame ourselves they have no reason to let go of that excuse. Truly read the various books recommended here, the article on detachment in the forum here is particularly helpful and finding a good therapist can do wonders. I thought I was doing OK for the longest time, but my anxiety was getting so bad And I couldn’t even make plans for myself without worrying if my sons ex-girlfriend was going to need me for something for the kids. or I would make plans and then change everything to make excuses and lies to people so that I could run and do what she wanted. my anxiety progressed into depression at which point I finally realized I needed professional help. I spent only six months with a therapist as my medical plan wouldn’t cover anymore but that six months was such a lifesaver for me. I think the fact your here is a great step. We are all here because we relize we need help, thats the first step in fixing ourselves instead of someone else. Hopeful isnt it?❤️ [/QUOTE]
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