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<blockquote data-quote="JMom" data-source="post: 754825" data-attributes="member: 19892"><p>Beebz,</p><p>A memory just popped into my head. Once I was struggling inwardly because my son was in a bad place.</p><p></p><p>I was at work and my emotions started spiraling and I couldn't contain tears. I had a security guard riding out with me</p><p> She said tell me what you're feeling. I said I felt betrayed because God wasn't saving my son...from himself. </p><p></p><p>She stated that God allows people to suffer to learn a lesson. Then I really lost it and said I just don't understand why he has to suffer SO MUCH to learn the lesson. She replied "maybe the lesson is for you."</p><p></p><p>That day changed my life. God put me in a position where I could no longer get it the way. J had to suffer HIS consequences. He had to learn and grow up without my interference. </p><p></p><p>J became homeless. I blamed myself but for once I sat down and gave it to God.</p><p></p><p>God gave J his right to free will. For 8 months J stayed on the streets drugging. On his 21 st birthday he called me and said he was clean. He was. He wanted to prove it. I took him to our family doctor and had him tested. He was 100% sober for the first time in 8 years.</p><p></p><p>He found a job that he still has today and an apartment and roommate on $12/hr.</p><p></p><p>He has drank some, and some to excess but called to tell me he got stupid with alcohol but is stopping. </p><p></p><p>He slips from time to time but he does it at his own expense and self regulates without my interference. </p><p></p><p>I have my own life now. We talk every morning on our way to work and before bed.</p><p></p><p>The lesson may be for you. All journeys are not the same but I do know that you have a choice not to answer the phone everytime he calls. Let it go a couple of days or whatever YOU need....to make it about you, not him.</p><p></p><p>Other people don't answer his calls because they are waiting to see a change. Fear not, when he returns to himself sober, they will all likely be waiting with open arms, as you will.</p><p></p><p>My J only got sober when I was out of the picture and refused to let him see his sisters.</p><p></p><p>He missed 8 months of their lives, but he apologized and they forgave. </p><p></p><p>I hope this helps. If not, leave it on the table.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JMom, post: 754825, member: 19892"] Beebz, A memory just popped into my head. Once I was struggling inwardly because my son was in a bad place. I was at work and my emotions started spiraling and I couldn't contain tears. I had a security guard riding out with me She said tell me what you're feeling. I said I felt betrayed because God wasn't saving my son...from himself. She stated that God allows people to suffer to learn a lesson. Then I really lost it and said I just don't understand why he has to suffer SO MUCH to learn the lesson. She replied "maybe the lesson is for you." That day changed my life. God put me in a position where I could no longer get it the way. J had to suffer HIS consequences. He had to learn and grow up without my interference. J became homeless. I blamed myself but for once I sat down and gave it to God. God gave J his right to free will. For 8 months J stayed on the streets drugging. On his 21 st birthday he called me and said he was clean. He was. He wanted to prove it. I took him to our family doctor and had him tested. He was 100% sober for the first time in 8 years. He found a job that he still has today and an apartment and roommate on $12/hr. He has drank some, and some to excess but called to tell me he got stupid with alcohol but is stopping. He slips from time to time but he does it at his own expense and self regulates without my interference. I have my own life now. We talk every morning on our way to work and before bed. The lesson may be for you. All journeys are not the same but I do know that you have a choice not to answer the phone everytime he calls. Let it go a couple of days or whatever YOU need....to make it about you, not him. Other people don't answer his calls because they are waiting to see a change. Fear not, when he returns to himself sober, they will all likely be waiting with open arms, as you will. My J only got sober when I was out of the picture and refused to let him see his sisters. He missed 8 months of their lives, but he apologized and they forgave. I hope this helps. If not, leave it on the table. [/QUOTE]
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