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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 754826" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>I had to learn that it was my DCs manipulation, not something I did. I learned not to take on untruths spoken to me as though they were insightful and enlightening to who I am. I learned that my DCs words of condemnation are emotionally fueled, not reality assessments. I learned to listen to others around me as my source of reality and objectivity. Are we guilty? Of course we are. We all are because we are not perfect. When we know we have done something that needs correction, as adults we do what we can to fix it, fix our actions, no one elses. We should not feel guilty for the choices our DCs make. To do so would rob them of their ability to learn how to deal with life, including the rewards of doing something right. Do I feel guilty about enabling? Yes. Did I do it to harm my Difficult Child? No. Can I change the past? No. All I can do is set boundaries that allow me to accept I can only do what I can do and it's up to me to find the tools I need to do better. It doesn't happen over night, at least not for me. Love and light to each of us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 754826, member: 23811"] I had to learn that it was my DCs manipulation, not something I did. I learned not to take on untruths spoken to me as though they were insightful and enlightening to who I am. I learned that my DCs words of condemnation are emotionally fueled, not reality assessments. I learned to listen to others around me as my source of reality and objectivity. Are we guilty? Of course we are. We all are because we are not perfect. When we know we have done something that needs correction, as adults we do what we can to fix it, fix our actions, no one elses. We should not feel guilty for the choices our DCs make. To do so would rob them of their ability to learn how to deal with life, including the rewards of doing something right. Do I feel guilty about enabling? Yes. Did I do it to harm my Difficult Child? No. Can I change the past? No. All I can do is set boundaries that allow me to accept I can only do what I can do and it's up to me to find the tools I need to do better. It doesn't happen over night, at least not for me. Love and light to each of us. [/QUOTE]
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