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Is your difficult child a psychopath?
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 626927" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I don't think difficult child fits this profile but there are some definite characteristics here that he has. </p><p></p><p>But let's say he does fit it, and I believe we would all agree this would be a very sobering diagnosis. It would be like hearing somebody has terminal cancer. </p><p></p><p>There's nothing that can be done. </p><p></p><p>Really? Yes, I have read the literature that is very hard to treat this mental illness. Hard, but not impossible.</p><p></p><p>Like all other mental illnesses---addiction included---the person has to WANT to change. The person has to let go of their denial and their grasp on their life---to be completely sick and tired---to turn and walk in a different direction. </p><p></p><p>Isn't this always the key? Always? Everything hangs on this, I believe. If you WANT something, you will work for it. You will turn over every single rock to try to find a way to make something happen.</p><p></p><p>This is the same for difficult children. Unless a person is completely delusional, completely out of it, not recognizing reality, I believe there is still responsibility there. </p><p></p><p>Our difficult children have to want to change before they have even a prayer of changing.</p><p></p><p>And this is their responsibility---not ours.</p><p></p><p>I have never once yet seen my son vulnerable, open, honest about his life and about wanting to change except one brief time, in the ER, after he had superficially cut his wrists, he was lying there on the guerney and he looked up at his dad and me and tears in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks, said, please I want to come home. I just want to come home. Please let me come home.</p><p></p><p>We said no. He went to the state hospital for a week, got out and the whole cycle started all over again. </p><p></p><p>Was he telling the honest-to-God truth that day? I will never know and I still think we made the right decision that day. </p><p></p><p>I also believe that if he really wanted to change that day or any other day, we would have seen more evidence of that. </p><p></p><p>SO says once he really truly wants to change, you'll know it. You'll hear it in his voice. You'll hear it in what he says and doesn't say. You'll see it in what he does and doesn't do.</p><p></p><p>That hasn't happened, and that is what HAS to happen for anything to change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 626927, member: 17542"] I don't think difficult child fits this profile but there are some definite characteristics here that he has. But let's say he does fit it, and I believe we would all agree this would be a very sobering diagnosis. It would be like hearing somebody has terminal cancer. There's nothing that can be done. Really? Yes, I have read the literature that is very hard to treat this mental illness. Hard, but not impossible. Like all other mental illnesses---addiction included---the person has to WANT to change. The person has to let go of their denial and their grasp on their life---to be completely sick and tired---to turn and walk in a different direction. Isn't this always the key? Always? Everything hangs on this, I believe. If you WANT something, you will work for it. You will turn over every single rock to try to find a way to make something happen. This is the same for difficult children. Unless a person is completely delusional, completely out of it, not recognizing reality, I believe there is still responsibility there. Our difficult children have to want to change before they have even a prayer of changing. And this is their responsibility---not ours. I have never once yet seen my son vulnerable, open, honest about his life and about wanting to change except one brief time, in the ER, after he had superficially cut his wrists, he was lying there on the guerney and he looked up at his dad and me and tears in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks, said, please I want to come home. I just want to come home. Please let me come home. We said no. He went to the state hospital for a week, got out and the whole cycle started all over again. Was he telling the honest-to-God truth that day? I will never know and I still think we made the right decision that day. I also believe that if he really wanted to change that day or any other day, we would have seen more evidence of that. SO says once he really truly wants to change, you'll know it. You'll hear it in his voice. You'll hear it in what he says and doesn't say. You'll see it in what he does and doesn't do. That hasn't happened, and that is what HAS to happen for anything to change. [/QUOTE]
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