Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Is your home organized and comfortable?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 745815" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Apple in another thread mentioned she would check in here, and I am so grateful for the support. So I want to give an update. I have not made any more headway in my house, sadly, but I have a level of confidence and hope that I did not have before.</p><p></p><p>I believe now that I will do this and that it is doable.</p><p></p><p>I do not feel the same level of shame.</p><p></p><p>I can see beyond the remaining clutter to the underlying beauty I have created in my home.</p><p></p><p>____</p><p></p><p>I got distracted this week because I thought about taking on two serious new commitments, and temporarily lost my focus. School started. And I overloaded myself with classes. Then I got offered a position in a divinity-type program. And it took me a lot of soul-searching to decide to reject it.</p><p></p><p>I have a problem with what I call, getting into cars, without figuring out first, if I want or need to go where the car is going. I let other people decide for me, and understandably they may push me according to their own self-interest. This time, I said No, so that I could first figure out what I wanted or needed. I decided that NOTHING could be as important as staying on my own side, by deciding to wait.</p><p></p><p>I had the confidence that other opportunities would appear, when I knew that I was ready, on my terms, if I decided I wanted them. I told myself, I do not need this opportunity. I am enough as I am. That all I need is to step into the light. I do not need to go anywhere, do anything, or be anything different, than who I am and what I have achieved. I recognized that I need to center myself in that, that that is my job in life now. And I could generate whatever I needed from who I am already.</p><p></p><p>These are big, big steps for me. I am very proud of myself.</p><p></p><p>And I dropped all of the new courses except for continuing with my Hebrew.</p><p></p><p>So another big step is that I told M that I would help him with the other properties. The rental where he is living (and where my son would return if and when he does) and the property which would be my office. So what that means is that I am preparing to actively deal with<em> all</em> of the property commitments that I have been avoiding, not just my house. And it also means that I am committing to be "out there" and responsible on a full time basis. And it also implies that I will be fixing up the office in order to work. All of this reflects back to me a person who is no longer immobile, withdrawn and not functioning. Which is truly amazing.</p><p></p><p>I directly relate all of the above to this thread.</p><p></p><p>I may put this house on the back burner for now. But what remains here does not look anymore like the Hoarder's show. I think that with one day of hard work,(with the exception of hanging artwork) it would look like a beautiful, normal house (not perfect, but good enough). Beds made, no boxes on the floor, counters reasonable. The ebay room still has lots of stuff, but other people have a room like this--I recognize I am not the lone ranger. (Which is not an excuse to keep it like this, but permission to give myself time.) And I will utilize the recommendation on this thread, (was it Lil?) about the $25 rule. That will let me get rid of lots of stuff, without dithering. The one thing it won't help with is my mother's stuff. But I give myself permission to set that aside.</p><p></p><p>So M and I made a plan of work on the rental house which for now will be the focus.</p><p></p><p>Thank you everybody. I will continue to depend upon this thread until I work myself through all of this. You cannot imagine how helpful it is, to share the burden and to have such a trustworthy community of support and knowledge and realistic counsel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 745815, member: 18958"] Apple in another thread mentioned she would check in here, and I am so grateful for the support. So I want to give an update. I have not made any more headway in my house, sadly, but I have a level of confidence and hope that I did not have before. I believe now that I will do this and that it is doable. I do not feel the same level of shame. I can see beyond the remaining clutter to the underlying beauty I have created in my home. ____ I got distracted this week because I thought about taking on two serious new commitments, and temporarily lost my focus. School started. And I overloaded myself with classes. Then I got offered a position in a divinity-type program. And it took me a lot of soul-searching to decide to reject it. I have a problem with what I call, getting into cars, without figuring out first, if I want or need to go where the car is going. I let other people decide for me, and understandably they may push me according to their own self-interest. This time, I said No, so that I could first figure out what I wanted or needed. I decided that NOTHING could be as important as staying on my own side, by deciding to wait. I had the confidence that other opportunities would appear, when I knew that I was ready, on my terms, if I decided I wanted them. I told myself, I do not need this opportunity. I am enough as I am. That all I need is to step into the light. I do not need to go anywhere, do anything, or be anything different, than who I am and what I have achieved. I recognized that I need to center myself in that, that that is my job in life now. And I could generate whatever I needed from who I am already. These are big, big steps for me. I am very proud of myself. And I dropped all of the new courses except for continuing with my Hebrew. So another big step is that I told M that I would help him with the other properties. The rental where he is living (and where my son would return if and when he does) and the property which would be my office. So what that means is that I am preparing to actively deal with[I] all[/I] of the property commitments that I have been avoiding, not just my house. And it also means that I am committing to be "out there" and responsible on a full time basis. And it also implies that I will be fixing up the office in order to work. All of this reflects back to me a person who is no longer immobile, withdrawn and not functioning. Which is truly amazing. I directly relate all of the above to this thread. I may put this house on the back burner for now. But what remains here does not look anymore like the Hoarder's show. I think that with one day of hard work,(with the exception of hanging artwork) it would look like a beautiful, normal house (not perfect, but good enough). Beds made, no boxes on the floor, counters reasonable. The ebay room still has lots of stuff, but other people have a room like this--I recognize I am not the lone ranger. (Which is not an excuse to keep it like this, but permission to give myself time.) And I will utilize the recommendation on this thread, (was it Lil?) about the $25 rule. That will let me get rid of lots of stuff, without dithering. The one thing it won't help with is my mother's stuff. But I give myself permission to set that aside. So M and I made a plan of work on the rental house which for now will be the focus. Thank you everybody. I will continue to depend upon this thread until I work myself through all of this. You cannot imagine how helpful it is, to share the burden and to have such a trustworthy community of support and knowledge and realistic counsel. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Is your home organized and comfortable?
Top