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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 740157" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Copa...you can not influence him. You tried in every way possible. The only person who makes his choices is him. Some people take no counsel and are not influenced by others, even if they know we mean the best.</p><p></p><p>We can give input. Thats all. We cant force them to do what we feel is best for them. Societial norms are not always part of what they care about so appealing to the things most of us care about doesnt work. And if they do want comfort, they definitely only want it if we will give it to them. There is a common denominator of these adult kids not wanting to work. They would rather have nothing than work. Do I get it? No. Do I see this over a decade on this board? Repeatedly.</p><p></p><p>I share some positives that I personally know about. Your son is on SSI and qualifies for multiple adult support services, like Sonic does. Wirh SSI you can get help finding a job that is at your level of ability usually part time yet will not cut off all your SSI. Sonic tool advantage of this. Medicare and Medicare is given.</p><p></p><p>There is housing for those with disabilities. Your son has SSI which means he is considered disabled and can find housing for himself probably on Section 8. Sonic is in a great, clean two bedroom apartment, quiet and calm. Since it is for adults with developmental disabilities .he only has to pay 1/3 of his income and this includes electricity and water. His amount is evaluated every six months or so. Meanwhile a lady is at the front desk all day. Its a very nice place with a common area, place for bikes and storage.</p><p></p><p>I know your son is not developmentally delayed but he must qualify as something to get SSI and there is probably a similar place with similar price break for him. With his early drug exposure and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) certainly there is help for him. But he needs to utilize it. The help is there. He must pursue it. </p><p></p><p>Your son has a case manager. It goes with SSI. My son loves and utilized hos Case Manager. Your son can too. His Case Managwer will help him fing housing suitable to his needs.</p><p></p><p>There are more services which will still be available after you leave this life. He only needs to ask and cooperate. He does not need to be in the street or your home. There are third options.</p><p></p><p>Sonic has a special needs trust set up with a lawyer. When we pass his payee can help with this and a special needs fund does not get in the way of SSI and other services. I was told that the special needs fund is the only way to protect his supports and money.</p><p></p><p>I feel safe that he has established his life ongoing.</p><p></p><p>Your son can use these supports too. He is considered disabled. It would be good if he had a payee but Im not sire hpw that works if the person doesnt want one.</p><p> In some cases the payee is court ordered. It is usually a neutral company of payees, not us.</p><p></p><p>Your son can do a lot to assure a warm place to stay if he wants. Maybe if he has a medical marijuana card he can even use that where he stays. Its illegal here and my son doesnt smoke....so I know little about that.</p><p></p><p>In the end, you can give him this info. He may not know about it. But you cant make him do it.</p><p></p><p>I know and understand that you dont like mental heath organizations out I only like good ones and I do trust NAMI. You may be able to get good suggestions from them. Cant hurt to call. You cant control your son but you can gain even more knowledge to pass to him. That way you have done EVERYTHING, no stone unturned. They have caregiver classes and others too. Ask!</p><p></p><p>I so wish you love and luck and am so glad you have M. He is one smart and caring man.</p><p></p><p>Love and light.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 740157, member: 1550"] Copa...you can not influence him. You tried in every way possible. The only person who makes his choices is him. Some people take no counsel and are not influenced by others, even if they know we mean the best. We can give input. Thats all. We cant force them to do what we feel is best for them. Societial norms are not always part of what they care about so appealing to the things most of us care about doesnt work. And if they do want comfort, they definitely only want it if we will give it to them. There is a common denominator of these adult kids not wanting to work. They would rather have nothing than work. Do I get it? No. Do I see this over a decade on this board? Repeatedly. I share some positives that I personally know about. Your son is on SSI and qualifies for multiple adult support services, like Sonic does. Wirh SSI you can get help finding a job that is at your level of ability usually part time yet will not cut off all your SSI. Sonic tool advantage of this. Medicare and Medicare is given. There is housing for those with disabilities. Your son has SSI which means he is considered disabled and can find housing for himself probably on Section 8. Sonic is in a great, clean two bedroom apartment, quiet and calm. Since it is for adults with developmental disabilities .he only has to pay 1/3 of his income and this includes electricity and water. His amount is evaluated every six months or so. Meanwhile a lady is at the front desk all day. Its a very nice place with a common area, place for bikes and storage. I know your son is not developmentally delayed but he must qualify as something to get SSI and there is probably a similar place with similar price break for him. With his early drug exposure and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) certainly there is help for him. But he needs to utilize it. The help is there. He must pursue it. Your son has a case manager. It goes with SSI. My son loves and utilized hos Case Manager. Your son can too. His Case Managwer will help him fing housing suitable to his needs. There are more services which will still be available after you leave this life. He only needs to ask and cooperate. He does not need to be in the street or your home. There are third options. Sonic has a special needs trust set up with a lawyer. When we pass his payee can help with this and a special needs fund does not get in the way of SSI and other services. I was told that the special needs fund is the only way to protect his supports and money. I feel safe that he has established his life ongoing. Your son can use these supports too. He is considered disabled. It would be good if he had a payee but Im not sire hpw that works if the person doesnt want one. In some cases the payee is court ordered. It is usually a neutral company of payees, not us. Your son can do a lot to assure a warm place to stay if he wants. Maybe if he has a medical marijuana card he can even use that where he stays. Its illegal here and my son doesnt smoke....so I know little about that. In the end, you can give him this info. He may not know about it. But you cant make him do it. I know and understand that you dont like mental heath organizations out I only like good ones and I do trust NAMI. You may be able to get good suggestions from them. Cant hurt to call. You cant control your son but you can gain even more knowledge to pass to him. That way you have done EVERYTHING, no stone unturned. They have caregiver classes and others too. Ask! I so wish you love and luck and am so glad you have M. He is one smart and caring man. Love and light. [/QUOTE]
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