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Substance Abuse
It’s been awhile but I’m back
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 748578" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Enmeshed Mom</p><p></p><p>All of this sounds so much like my own son who is older (30) but struggling, still.</p><p></p><p>He searches out and responds to spiritual content. I think he's trying to come to grips with his psyche and where he fits in life and in the scheme of things, with good and evil, and who and what controls us. In my mind 90 percent of it is whacky and it scares me If I say something he does not like he denounces me spiritually calling me evil and possessed and all kinds of other things. He denounces my religion in ways that hurt me. </p><p></p><p>So what I am trying to say is that I get how this must feel, how scary it is. I get how your son gets overcome by shame for simple mistakes. And how this is so painful.</p><p></p><p>I think it really is all about enmeshment on our part. I think your son is himself. And you are you. I think you and me get too much in their heads. Their heads become our heads. Our heads become colonized by them, their distress, their moods, their missteps. NO GOOD.</p><p></p><p>I think our sons in their way are trying to learn how to live and to work things out. As far as I am concerned my son is off the deep end. But where do I get a vote?</p><p></p><p>I understand the deep, deep worry. I live it. I understand how it feels that this does not get better. It just keeps spiraling around and around.</p><p></p><p>The only way out of this is to step out of their spiral. To not be sucked into that tornado. And if we are sucked in, to get OUT. Think of the Wizard of Oz and what happened to Dorothy. That's us.</p><p></p><p>We can go home to Kansas. We are Kansas. We can leave Oz.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 748578, member: 18958"] Hi Enmeshed Mom All of this sounds so much like my own son who is older (30) but struggling, still. He searches out and responds to spiritual content. I think he's trying to come to grips with his psyche and where he fits in life and in the scheme of things, with good and evil, and who and what controls us. In my mind 90 percent of it is whacky and it scares me If I say something he does not like he denounces me spiritually calling me evil and possessed and all kinds of other things. He denounces my religion in ways that hurt me. So what I am trying to say is that I get how this must feel, how scary it is. I get how your son gets overcome by shame for simple mistakes. And how this is so painful. I think it really is all about enmeshment on our part. I think your son is himself. And you are you. I think you and me get too much in their heads. Their heads become our heads. Our heads become colonized by them, their distress, their moods, their missteps. NO GOOD. I think our sons in their way are trying to learn how to live and to work things out. As far as I am concerned my son is off the deep end. But where do I get a vote? I understand the deep, deep worry. I live it. I understand how it feels that this does not get better. It just keeps spiraling around and around. The only way out of this is to step out of their spiral. To not be sucked into that tornado. And if we are sucked in, to get OUT. Think of the Wizard of Oz and what happened to Dorothy. That's us. We can go home to Kansas. We are Kansas. We can leave Oz. [/QUOTE]
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