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It’s not my mental illness talking. It’s the truth!
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<blockquote data-quote="Nandina" data-source="post: 765911" data-attributes="member: 23742"><p>I should explain. The first son died not of addiction but apparently after a back surgery when his pain medicine wasn’t working he tried to self medicate, took too much and overdosed but apparently wasn’t a drug addict in the sense this son was. That was about 15 years ago I think.</p><p></p><p>This son was addicted to crack and was 46, had been involved with drugs since his teens. His wife, the mother of the grandchildren od’d four years ago, I think. I met those kids during our trip. They were beautiful, well adjusted and just good kids. It absolutely breaks my heart to imagine her having to tell them their other parent is gone now too.</p><p></p><p>My sister just reached out recently. Told me she had been thinking about me and the fact I lost my son and then my friend. It was kind of strange, didn’t even sound like her. She sent me light and love as I navigate my new normal. Those were her words. But it’s been almost 7 months since my son died and a month since my friend passed. I could have used the support when it happened rather than 7 months later. I don’t need the same support now that I did then. But at least she seems to be looking outside herself somewhat.</p><p></p><p>I got her text very late the night before we left. It was after 11pm so I didn’t answer that night. We were busy the next day packing up etc. and I didn’t respond til we were on the road and it was evening. I told her we were on vacation and I would get back with her as soon as I got home. She texted back saying she was wondering if she had made me feel bad and that’s why I hadn’t answered right away. Wow—I’m not used to her having this much sensitivity toward me and my feelings. Maybe she finally figured out somebody besides her has some stuff going on…</p><p></p><p>LMS, I am as ok as I can be, I guess under the circumstances. My sadness keeps extending. It’s hard to be any more sad than I already am. I am numb. </p><p></p><p>I have always known that because I had experienced so little death in my lifetime, that when it hit, it would all hit at once. And that’s pretty much what is happening. I just hope I can be there for my cousin who went above and beyond for me. I am so grateful to her. I know we are in each other’s lives for a reason.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for the love, kind thoughts and prayers. I’ll get through this.</p><p></p><p>Love, Nandina</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nandina, post: 765911, member: 23742"] I should explain. The first son died not of addiction but apparently after a back surgery when his pain medicine wasn’t working he tried to self medicate, took too much and overdosed but apparently wasn’t a drug addict in the sense this son was. That was about 15 years ago I think. This son was addicted to crack and was 46, had been involved with drugs since his teens. His wife, the mother of the grandchildren od’d four years ago, I think. I met those kids during our trip. They were beautiful, well adjusted and just good kids. It absolutely breaks my heart to imagine her having to tell them their other parent is gone now too. My sister just reached out recently. Told me she had been thinking about me and the fact I lost my son and then my friend. It was kind of strange, didn’t even sound like her. She sent me light and love as I navigate my new normal. Those were her words. But it’s been almost 7 months since my son died and a month since my friend passed. I could have used the support when it happened rather than 7 months later. I don’t need the same support now that I did then. But at least she seems to be looking outside herself somewhat. I got her text very late the night before we left. It was after 11pm so I didn’t answer that night. We were busy the next day packing up etc. and I didn’t respond til we were on the road and it was evening. I told her we were on vacation and I would get back with her as soon as I got home. She texted back saying she was wondering if she had made me feel bad and that’s why I hadn’t answered right away. Wow—I’m not used to her having this much sensitivity toward me and my feelings. Maybe she finally figured out somebody besides her has some stuff going on… LMS, I am as ok as I can be, I guess under the circumstances. My sadness keeps extending. It’s hard to be any more sad than I already am. I am numb. I have always known that because I had experienced so little death in my lifetime, that when it hit, it would all hit at once. And that’s pretty much what is happening. I just hope I can be there for my cousin who went above and beyond for me. I am so grateful to her. I know we are in each other’s lives for a reason. Thank you for the love, kind thoughts and prayers. I’ll get through this. Love, Nandina [/QUOTE]
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