Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
It never ends..
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="MissLulu" data-source="post: 759571" data-attributes="member: 24721"><p>Mousey, just popping in here to say hello. Like many of us here I have felt what you are feeling now - at the end of my rope. </p><p></p><p>My son also has a mental illness. He's officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but there's something else as well, which may or may not be diagnosed (I don't know because I'm not privy to his medical information.) If I were to take an educated guess, I would say he has borderline personality disorder, but I don't know that for sure. Not that the label matters in the end, what matters is the behaviour, and my son's behaviour truly perplexes me at times. Like your son, mine sometimes refuses his medication and he goes in and out of treatment. I accept there is nothing I can do about this. He is 25 years old and doesn't live with me.</p><p></p><p>I tell you all of this to let you know you are not alone.</p><p></p><p>When I first started posting here I was a mess. I was anxious and depressed and spent all day every day focused on my son. My son hasn't changed. He goes through good phases and not so good, but even in the good phases I know that a bad phase is only a heartbeat away. He has a mental illness that he chooses not to treat at times. That isn't going to magically go away. What HAS changed is me. I've accepted that I have no control over outcomes for him. I have stepped back and am allowing him to make all his decisions (both good and bad) without getting in his way or "helping". This has been hard at times, especially when I see him doing things that I know will lead to a negative outcome, but since I have been less involved, he has actually stepped up and taken responsibility for some things. </p><p></p><p>I am less focused on my son than I used to be. I still love him (of course) and I still think about him and worry about him but he's not all think about these days. I get that same bolt of fear that Copa described when I catch myself worrying about him. I spend much of my time distracted with work and my other kids, but then something will trigger me and I get a zap of fear or anxiety. But I can usually force myself to put the worry aside and live in the moment.</p><p></p><p>I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter what happens with your son, there is hope for you. Hope that it's possible to live through having a child like this and even to live well. It's painful to live with children like these in our lives, but now that they are adults I believe we should try our very best to hand over the reins to them and focus on ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting, Mousey. It helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MissLulu, post: 759571, member: 24721"] Mousey, just popping in here to say hello. Like many of us here I have felt what you are feeling now - at the end of my rope. My son also has a mental illness. He's officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but there's something else as well, which may or may not be diagnosed (I don't know because I'm not privy to his medical information.) If I were to take an educated guess, I would say he has borderline personality disorder, but I don't know that for sure. Not that the label matters in the end, what matters is the behaviour, and my son's behaviour truly perplexes me at times. Like your son, mine sometimes refuses his medication and he goes in and out of treatment. I accept there is nothing I can do about this. He is 25 years old and doesn't live with me. I tell you all of this to let you know you are not alone. When I first started posting here I was a mess. I was anxious and depressed and spent all day every day focused on my son. My son hasn't changed. He goes through good phases and not so good, but even in the good phases I know that a bad phase is only a heartbeat away. He has a mental illness that he chooses not to treat at times. That isn't going to magically go away. What HAS changed is me. I've accepted that I have no control over outcomes for him. I have stepped back and am allowing him to make all his decisions (both good and bad) without getting in his way or "helping". This has been hard at times, especially when I see him doing things that I know will lead to a negative outcome, but since I have been less involved, he has actually stepped up and taken responsibility for some things. I am less focused on my son than I used to be. I still love him (of course) and I still think about him and worry about him but he's not all think about these days. I get that same bolt of fear that Copa described when I catch myself worrying about him. I spend much of my time distracted with work and my other kids, but then something will trigger me and I get a zap of fear or anxiety. But I can usually force myself to put the worry aside and live in the moment. I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter what happens with your son, there is hope for you. Hope that it's possible to live through having a child like this and even to live well. It's painful to live with children like these in our lives, but now that they are adults I believe we should try our very best to hand over the reins to them and focus on ourselves. Keep posting, Mousey. It helps. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
It never ends..
Top