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Parent Emeritus
It still hurts......He's my blood.
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 599615" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Welcome, 1000 Sunsets.</p><p></p><p>What an interesting and beautiful name you've chosen. </p><p></p><p>Whatever the ages of their children (mine is 38), a parent's instincts are to protect that child, to nurture them and teach them how to succeed. But our difficult child kids cold-bloodedly use those instincts to manipulate us in every way imaginable. Somehow, we parents always hope that this time, things will be different, that this time will be the charm; that this time, all our effort and worry and money and hope will somehow work, and our children will grow into the people they were meant to be.</p><p></p><p>The shame, the disbelief and helplessness we parents experience time and time again are overwhelming. There have been times over the past months that I've rattled around in my own life in a state of shock so intense I could barely function. Even after everything that's happened, I still slip into denial pretty easily. I find myself prettying everything up, believing that somehow, this was all a mistake and everything will be fine. </p><p></p><p>But, just as you and your family have learned, whatever we parents do is never enough. What we are learning here, from sharing our stories with one another, is how to be healthy enough ourselves to react to our difficult child children from a place of strength.</p><p></p><p>It's very difficult.</p><p></p><p>We imagine our children freezing, or starving, or being vulnerable in any of a thousand ways. We research things, figure things out, buy them cars and clothes and food and give them our money and our love and our time. </p><p></p><p>I am so angry and ashamed and confused and shocked and protective of and enraged at my daughter ~ which doesn't make any sense at all, but there you have it. I can't figure out how to put what is happening to us in some kind of perspective. It's just so unbelievable that this is actually, really happening. </p><p></p><p>I don't know how I would be handling everything without everyone on this Board. I am so grateful to have found it, and so happy for you and your wife that you found it, too. Sharing my story, hearing the so-similar stories of the other parents here, has helped me heal, has made me stronger, has helped me tell myself the truth ~ well, more of the truth, anyway.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 599615, member: 1721"] Welcome, 1000 Sunsets. What an interesting and beautiful name you've chosen. Whatever the ages of their children (mine is 38), a parent's instincts are to protect that child, to nurture them and teach them how to succeed. But our difficult child kids cold-bloodedly use those instincts to manipulate us in every way imaginable. Somehow, we parents always hope that this time, things will be different, that this time will be the charm; that this time, all our effort and worry and money and hope will somehow work, and our children will grow into the people they were meant to be. The shame, the disbelief and helplessness we parents experience time and time again are overwhelming. There have been times over the past months that I've rattled around in my own life in a state of shock so intense I could barely function. Even after everything that's happened, I still slip into denial pretty easily. I find myself prettying everything up, believing that somehow, this was all a mistake and everything will be fine. But, just as you and your family have learned, whatever we parents do is never enough. What we are learning here, from sharing our stories with one another, is how to be healthy enough ourselves to react to our difficult child children from a place of strength. It's very difficult. We imagine our children freezing, or starving, or being vulnerable in any of a thousand ways. We research things, figure things out, buy them cars and clothes and food and give them our money and our love and our time. I am so angry and ashamed and confused and shocked and protective of and enraged at my daughter ~ which doesn't make any sense at all, but there you have it. I can't figure out how to put what is happening to us in some kind of perspective. It's just so unbelievable that this is actually, really happening. I don't know how I would be handling everything without everyone on this Board. I am so grateful to have found it, and so happy for you and your wife that you found it, too. Sharing my story, hearing the so-similar stories of the other parents here, has helped me heal, has made me stronger, has helped me tell myself the truth ~ well, more of the truth, anyway. :O) Barbara [/QUOTE]
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It still hurts......He's my blood.
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