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It still hurts......He's my blood.
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 599850" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>This was one of the first books I read, it's free and written by a therapist, she gives wonderful advice for detaching and letting them follow their paths.</p><p><a href="http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177/7/23.html" target="_blank">http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177/7/23.html</a></p><p></p><p>I applaud your strength! I fell for my son's homeless conn. He was in college last year (laid off and trying to start over), on the Dean's list (that part was true lol) and girlie had kicked him out, he was homeless, couch surfing and trying to finish the semester. He needed money for food. I was jumping hoops to get him money for about 4 months.</p><p></p><p>Girlie had been sending nasty emails and I blocked her, then sent nasty emails pretending to be my son. Girlie started calling me one morning before 6AM. Someone, I strongly believe my son, had hacked into my computer and forwarded my emails to her email account and now she had my home phone number. She repeatedly dialed my number and left nasty obscene messages as we refused to answer the phone after the first few times. The last message said, "I've got all day so it's on b****". I had met this person 1 time! I changed all of my accounts and bought a new computer. </p><p></p><p>I called the police and they went to the home within 30 minutes. The policeman called me back and said my son told him he was not suicidal or homeless and he gave me the number where the mother worked (for the police department no less!) he said I needed to inform her of what exactly was going on in her home.</p><p></p><p>I hesitated to call her at work and I was very polite. She informed me that my son was not homeless and they went out each and every night, coming home when she was leaving for work. Shortly after that was when they had the big fight and he really was homeless. I helped again, thinking maybe this time he is serious. He had high achieving, non drugging friends helping him find a sponsor and was looking for a job.</p><p></p><p>A few weeks later he was back with girlie. When I confronted him he lied and became angry. He was posting suicidal messages on FB and of course all of my family was upset. Several told me I had to do anything and everything I could to help him - some questioned why I didn't have him living with me. I called and gave him clinic numbers and hot line numbers. He said he would make appointments and never did.</p><p></p><p>We have to reach a point where we draw the line in the sand and mean it, I finally had reached that point. When you do, somehow they know you mean it! That's when my son told me he was out of my life forever and he was going to commit suicide so I wouldn't be bothered, that I had never loved him to start with.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how I lived through it! He did get better for a while (about 3 years) and the first year he was with girlie they both were clean and sober. I actually looked forward to his phone calls. Now, he is worse than he has been in his life - she affects him negatively so much. The one time I met her she told me she had two older siblings that she had not heard from on years - they didn't like her. I don't see good things for either of them until they both get treatment.</p><p></p><p>He started no contact (NC) in November and some of his friends and family have asked about him. I just say I haven't heard from him in a while. It is very hard at first, even with all my son has done I still felt like I was turning my back on him. The more you read and talk to other it gets easier. Some think we are cold hearted, that's where the support from this forum comes in. THE MEMBERS ACTUALLY "GET IT" THEY ARE LIVING IT TOO!</p><p></p><p>When my son was young I worked with a lady having problems with her son. When she let him live on the streets because he would not work I thought she was so mean. I thought I could never do that to my son. Sadly, I now understand!</p><p></p><p>My arthritis started bothering me, my BiPolar (BP) went sky high and I was having panic attacks. I had to force myself to put me first. My son has taught me the meaning of unconditional love.</p><p></p><p>I find keeping a journal helps me, some times what I write is so blunt I tear it up immediately, but writing it out helps me from becoming very angry at life. I have so many positives in my life, and I am going to enjoy the rest of my life as much as possible.</p><p>(((hugs and blessings)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 599850, member: 13558"] This was one of the first books I read, it's free and written by a therapist, she gives wonderful advice for detaching and letting them follow their paths. [URL]http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177/7/23.html[/URL] I applaud your strength! I fell for my son's homeless conn. He was in college last year (laid off and trying to start over), on the Dean's list (that part was true lol) and girlie had kicked him out, he was homeless, couch surfing and trying to finish the semester. He needed money for food. I was jumping hoops to get him money for about 4 months. Girlie had been sending nasty emails and I blocked her, then sent nasty emails pretending to be my son. Girlie started calling me one morning before 6AM. Someone, I strongly believe my son, had hacked into my computer and forwarded my emails to her email account and now she had my home phone number. She repeatedly dialed my number and left nasty obscene messages as we refused to answer the phone after the first few times. The last message said, "I've got all day so it's on b****". I had met this person 1 time! I changed all of my accounts and bought a new computer. I called the police and they went to the home within 30 minutes. The policeman called me back and said my son told him he was not suicidal or homeless and he gave me the number where the mother worked (for the police department no less!) he said I needed to inform her of what exactly was going on in her home. I hesitated to call her at work and I was very polite. She informed me that my son was not homeless and they went out each and every night, coming home when she was leaving for work. Shortly after that was when they had the big fight and he really was homeless. I helped again, thinking maybe this time he is serious. He had high achieving, non drugging friends helping him find a sponsor and was looking for a job. A few weeks later he was back with girlie. When I confronted him he lied and became angry. He was posting suicidal messages on FB and of course all of my family was upset. Several told me I had to do anything and everything I could to help him - some questioned why I didn't have him living with me. I called and gave him clinic numbers and hot line numbers. He said he would make appointments and never did. We have to reach a point where we draw the line in the sand and mean it, I finally had reached that point. When you do, somehow they know you mean it! That's when my son told me he was out of my life forever and he was going to commit suicide so I wouldn't be bothered, that I had never loved him to start with. I don't know how I lived through it! He did get better for a while (about 3 years) and the first year he was with girlie they both were clean and sober. I actually looked forward to his phone calls. Now, he is worse than he has been in his life - she affects him negatively so much. The one time I met her she told me she had two older siblings that she had not heard from on years - they didn't like her. I don't see good things for either of them until they both get treatment. He started no contact (NC) in November and some of his friends and family have asked about him. I just say I haven't heard from him in a while. It is very hard at first, even with all my son has done I still felt like I was turning my back on him. The more you read and talk to other it gets easier. Some think we are cold hearted, that's where the support from this forum comes in. THE MEMBERS ACTUALLY "GET IT" THEY ARE LIVING IT TOO! When my son was young I worked with a lady having problems with her son. When she let him live on the streets because he would not work I thought she was so mean. I thought I could never do that to my son. Sadly, I now understand! My arthritis started bothering me, my BiPolar (BP) went sky high and I was having panic attacks. I had to force myself to put me first. My son has taught me the meaning of unconditional love. I find keeping a journal helps me, some times what I write is so blunt I tear it up immediately, but writing it out helps me from becoming very angry at life. I have so many positives in my life, and I am going to enjoy the rest of my life as much as possible. (((hugs and blessings))) [/QUOTE]
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