Hello Addie, I think I was on a short board break when you left. I do remember your daughter Chrissie and her riding and how she loved it and your hope that she might continue on with it. I am sorry for all the pain you have been through.
I too had my adopted child attack me. I too had the police charge him with a felony assalt. It hurt like nothing I have ever experienced to have that happen. But like you I survived it and am so much stronger and a much better person for all of it.
difficult child went to jail and then to a residential facility which he ran away from and then back to jail and then to a community based program and a group home which he dropped out of and lived on the streets for about three months untill the PO had him put back in jail. The last stint was for 8 months until a bed opened up in yet another Group home. He has to stay there and in the program for 18 months or he will be violated again. So his 18 months has dragged out into three years. But for now he is doing well ( maybe three's the charm) He joined the local fire department and is hoping to go to fireman's college and get a paying job. He is staying on his medications and off the drugs and alcohol after one initial slip. He goes to daily AA meetings and has a good sponsor. He has alot of debt that he isn't doing well on paying back. Partly because he isn't motivated and partly because he doesn't have a job (doctor's advice) only cash assistance. He asks us for very little and appreciates what we do for him. He will be 22 next month. He is respectful but has not forgiven himself for what he did to me. Until he does I have concerns for him but for now he is doing well and I treasure it.
I became a Reiki master and an ordained minister (the latter so I can open a Reiki practice.) It gives me alot of peace. I am still fighting to get my physical health back. I am alot better but still have a way to go. I was blessed with a new grandchild in November by my second daughter making it 3 total now. We continue to work on the houses but have accepted that we may not ever finish all the projects. We are thinking about selling the Victorian and moving out to the beach cottage. The market is very bad so we haven't made a final decision on that yet.
I no longer am consumed with difficult child stuff. As a matter fact I avoid it as much as possible. I have finally learned that it is their "stuff" not mine and I just detach. I now take the time to have fun and I am no longer a borderline reclusive. I have joined several local groups and am thinking of becoming a museum docent.
easy child 2 is still living at home and has developed a drinking problem of sorts. He is a functional alcholic holds a regular job pays rent and is always respectful. But it bothers me to see him abuse his body after I fought so hard for his health as a child. So for that reason and because it is time for us to experience an empty nest husband and I have told him to begin looking for his own apartment. I do worry about him but I know that unless we put him out on his own he will not change. I think when he has little money for the booze he will slow down or even stop. He is avery high functioning Aspie so for him things are very literal. If he can't afford to drink I think he might stop,at least I hope so. As they say "the doing is the proof". We'll see.
Right now my life is as good as it can get for me. Sure I have lowered my expectations but that has given me alot of peace. I too wonder where I go from here. -RM
