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It's funny the tantrums older difficult child's throw when you stop them in their tracks
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 636911" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This is just a suggestion. Take it or dump it <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>None of my kids got any clothes from my funds, except from thrift shops, if they didn't work by age sixteen (part time). All of kids, including 36, did not question THAT rule. They knew there was no way to have extra money any other way. They all worked part-time in high school and had jobs or went to school after graduating. It was necessary for me to have them help out with their own expenses. I ws divorced and had no extra money. But I think it was good for them that they realized they had to work or use community thrift shops, which are NOT bad by the way. All of my grown kids, even difficult child, have strong work ethics and are gainfully employed or in college.</p><p></p><p>They sell socks for maybe $1/pair at Goodwill or other thrift stores. They also have tons of nice used clothes. I work there. All the clothes are vetted there and my girls, in particular, love to get a bargain. Garage sales are a goldmine too, especially if you go to sales in wealthy neighborhoods. Nothing wrong with good second hand.</p><p></p><p>There is no way I'd give a credit card to a grown child who is not working. I feel it just sends the wrong message and just makes it easier to do the "failure to launch" bit and alternately depend on us and (often) also abuse us. Entitlement is ugly. That your daughter would demand a credit card at all, even for such a silly reason, is kind of telling me she has been given too much for too long. This may not be a fact, but in my opinion it is best to force them to work for their new and more expensive things than for us to just buy them. Even new socks should be a luxury that they buy themselves. If they don' have the six bucks for a package of socks and expect us to buy that, it is time for us, in my opinion, to pull back and let them either work or wear old or used things, even socks. Again, this is only my opinion.</p><p></p><p>I do agree with RE. At least you saw the humor in it and laughed. Maybe next time you may say, "You know, you're a woman now and you can work for your thing, even socks. I am not going to let you use my credit card anymore. It's not as a punishment to you. It is to help you grow up. I know you are smart and can find a way to buy your own necessities. You don't need me to take care of you anymore."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 636911, member: 1550"] This is just a suggestion. Take it or dump it :) None of my kids got any clothes from my funds, except from thrift shops, if they didn't work by age sixteen (part time). All of kids, including 36, did not question THAT rule. They knew there was no way to have extra money any other way. They all worked part-time in high school and had jobs or went to school after graduating. It was necessary for me to have them help out with their own expenses. I ws divorced and had no extra money. But I think it was good for them that they realized they had to work or use community thrift shops, which are NOT bad by the way. All of my grown kids, even difficult child, have strong work ethics and are gainfully employed or in college. They sell socks for maybe $1/pair at Goodwill or other thrift stores. They also have tons of nice used clothes. I work there. All the clothes are vetted there and my girls, in particular, love to get a bargain. Garage sales are a goldmine too, especially if you go to sales in wealthy neighborhoods. Nothing wrong with good second hand. There is no way I'd give a credit card to a grown child who is not working. I feel it just sends the wrong message and just makes it easier to do the "failure to launch" bit and alternately depend on us and (often) also abuse us. Entitlement is ugly. That your daughter would demand a credit card at all, even for such a silly reason, is kind of telling me she has been given too much for too long. This may not be a fact, but in my opinion it is best to force them to work for their new and more expensive things than for us to just buy them. Even new socks should be a luxury that they buy themselves. If they don' have the six bucks for a package of socks and expect us to buy that, it is time for us, in my opinion, to pull back and let them either work or wear old or used things, even socks. Again, this is only my opinion. I do agree with RE. At least you saw the humor in it and laughed. Maybe next time you may say, "You know, you're a woman now and you can work for your thing, even socks. I am not going to let you use my credit card anymore. It's not as a punishment to you. It is to help you grow up. I know you are smart and can find a way to buy your own necessities. You don't need me to take care of you anymore." [/QUOTE]
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It's funny the tantrums older difficult child's throw when you stop them in their tracks
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