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Jail, Rehab
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 656128" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>Wendy, you have received some very good advice from Echo. I also have an older (age 28) son who is addicted to heroin. He and his family (wife and two small children) were living with me for the last year and just moved out last week. He also has a history of jail, rehab, relapse, etc. </p><p></p><p>One thing that strikes me from your post is that you're doing a lot of work for him researching rehab and such. The fact that he's not interested because of the cell phone speaks poorly for his seriousness of working on the problem. So it looks like you're doing more work than he is, which is backwards. When my son was first arrested for possession of heroin and was in my home for house arrest, I did exhaustive research on various rehab facilities and even printed out a nice binder for him. Guess what? It sat on his shelf untouched. He finally got into rehab after he was arrested and the court ordered it.</p><p></p><p></p><p>One thing that helped me get over some of the guilt of not helping more was to remember that it's not my fault that he's still in jail (or homeless, or penniless, or whatever), it's actually <u>his</u> fault for making bad choices continuously. Despite many "second" chances, my son still chooses poorly, and the guilt should remain with him. But we mothers love to take on the burdens of the world, don't we? (I certainly include myself in that group!) You're not Superwoman and you're not responsible for your son's life and choices anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 656128, member: 18099"] Wendy, you have received some very good advice from Echo. I also have an older (age 28) son who is addicted to heroin. He and his family (wife and two small children) were living with me for the last year and just moved out last week. He also has a history of jail, rehab, relapse, etc. One thing that strikes me from your post is that you're doing a lot of work for him researching rehab and such. The fact that he's not interested because of the cell phone speaks poorly for his seriousness of working on the problem. So it looks like you're doing more work than he is, which is backwards. When my son was first arrested for possession of heroin and was in my home for house arrest, I did exhaustive research on various rehab facilities and even printed out a nice binder for him. Guess what? It sat on his shelf untouched. He finally got into rehab after he was arrested and the court ordered it. One thing that helped me get over some of the guilt of not helping more was to remember that it's not my fault that he's still in jail (or homeless, or penniless, or whatever), it's actually [U]his[/U] fault for making bad choices continuously. Despite many "second" chances, my son still chooses poorly, and the guilt should remain with him. But we mothers love to take on the burdens of the world, don't we? (I certainly include myself in that group!) You're not Superwoman and you're not responsible for your son's life and choices anymore. [/QUOTE]
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