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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 657177" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>What is it about dysfunctional people who feel the need to run, run, run? This no contact crapola is just running scared. Oh, for some who are really in harms way by a person, it's for safety. I get that. But these are for reasons that have nothing to do with safety. We didn't do or say what they wanted us to.</p><p></p><p>How sad for them that they can never talk to anyone in a frank way, probably not even their friends or SO, if they have any, or even their own siblings. The conversation I wanted to have with Thing 1 and 2 could never have happened. They would have been freaked out and would not have answered directly or it would have turned into a session about me, not bout them and why.</p><p></p><p>"Why? Why didn't you even one time, both of you, tell E., she's mys sister and I love her. Stop talking about her that way."</p><p></p><p>Thing 1 was not in my life much after he moved away so we were not close. But 2 kept calling me, even after I was used to not hearing from her, and she told me she loved me, she ACTED, when she wasn't angry at me, like she cared about me. If she did, why did she keep her mouth shut? I would have challenged E and said, "If you talk about 2 that way, I don't really want to hear from you." I was and am a mother bear and would never have put up with hearing second hand stories about 2. So the elephant in the room was that. And it was there from my 30's...me always wondering why the hello 2 bohered with me when she couldn't even say once, "Stop talking about her that way! I love her!" Just once. </p><p></p><p>I could understand it if she had done her famous and constant disowning act and done it for good. Then, yeah, she isn't being a hypocrie, at least. She isn't talking to me in a friendly way and listening to E. talk about me in heinous ways. But, like a boomerang, she always came back and I always forgave her because I did love her so much. I did have the elephant with me at all times though and finally, in our last interaction, I was strong enough to bring up the elephant. I'm glad I brought it up, even if she doesn't care or thinks I got what I deserved or whatever she feels. I SAID it. I texted it to her and I still have copies of that conversation (I never delete anything, yes, I should learn to do it). It's still there. </p><p></p><p>Because of that elephant we were going to have a bad ending the stronger I got. </p><p></p><p>She had no obligation to stick up for me. But that she never did make that choice to do it ruined us way before she knew. Same with 1, although, again, I have had little to do with him for maybe thirty years and at least he was not being a hypocrite. He was so entrenched with E., her word was gold. That was something I understood. But 2 kept coming back. </p><p></p><p>ANd then just when I think we're both done with each other because this time the elephant walked to my side and I was truly done, she starts reading my thoughts, showing a very unhealthy obsession with me (shudder) and giving me the creeps. I think she probably still reads. It wouldn't shock me. </p><p></p><p>I want nothing to do with reading her thoughts. But she is free to read mine. Even if she makes fun of them. Even if she calls me a liar to her social worker. I don't care.</p><p></p><p>Ok, sorry to hijack a good thread. </p><p></p><p>It is getting easier and easier to release these people from the present as I understand more and more what they were to me. I can "talk" about it here without crying. I'm not anywhere near crying now.</p><p></p><p>I will never take their abuse and shame and feel sorry for them. If I feel sorry for them at all, it is for other reasons.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 657177, member: 1550"] What is it about dysfunctional people who feel the need to run, run, run? This no contact crapola is just running scared. Oh, for some who are really in harms way by a person, it's for safety. I get that. But these are for reasons that have nothing to do with safety. We didn't do or say what they wanted us to. How sad for them that they can never talk to anyone in a frank way, probably not even their friends or SO, if they have any, or even their own siblings. The conversation I wanted to have with Thing 1 and 2 could never have happened. They would have been freaked out and would not have answered directly or it would have turned into a session about me, not bout them and why. "Why? Why didn't you even one time, both of you, tell E., she's mys sister and I love her. Stop talking about her that way." Thing 1 was not in my life much after he moved away so we were not close. But 2 kept calling me, even after I was used to not hearing from her, and she told me she loved me, she ACTED, when she wasn't angry at me, like she cared about me. If she did, why did she keep her mouth shut? I would have challenged E and said, "If you talk about 2 that way, I don't really want to hear from you." I was and am a mother bear and would never have put up with hearing second hand stories about 2. So the elephant in the room was that. And it was there from my 30's...me always wondering why the hello 2 bohered with me when she couldn't even say once, "Stop talking about her that way! I love her!" Just once. I could understand it if she had done her famous and constant disowning act and done it for good. Then, yeah, she isn't being a hypocrie, at least. She isn't talking to me in a friendly way and listening to E. talk about me in heinous ways. But, like a boomerang, she always came back and I always forgave her because I did love her so much. I did have the elephant with me at all times though and finally, in our last interaction, I was strong enough to bring up the elephant. I'm glad I brought it up, even if she doesn't care or thinks I got what I deserved or whatever she feels. I SAID it. I texted it to her and I still have copies of that conversation (I never delete anything, yes, I should learn to do it). It's still there. Because of that elephant we were going to have a bad ending the stronger I got. She had no obligation to stick up for me. But that she never did make that choice to do it ruined us way before she knew. Same with 1, although, again, I have had little to do with him for maybe thirty years and at least he was not being a hypocrite. He was so entrenched with E., her word was gold. That was something I understood. But 2 kept coming back. ANd then just when I think we're both done with each other because this time the elephant walked to my side and I was truly done, she starts reading my thoughts, showing a very unhealthy obsession with me (shudder) and giving me the creeps. I think she probably still reads. It wouldn't shock me. I want nothing to do with reading her thoughts. But she is free to read mine. Even if she makes fun of them. Even if she calls me a liar to her social worker. I don't care. Ok, sorry to hijack a good thread. It is getting easier and easier to release these people from the present as I understand more and more what they were to me. I can "talk" about it here without crying. I'm not anywhere near crying now. I will never take their abuse and shame and feel sorry for them. If I feel sorry for them at all, it is for other reasons. [/QUOTE]
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