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Janna's post has me thinking...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 88682" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It's different again for us. In Australia they are very reluctant to even consider bipolar in a child. Plus, I don't think we have anything resembling a neuropsychologist.</p><p></p><p>We've had wrong diagnoses before. difficult child 1 was diagnosed ADHD when he was six but I never felt it explained most of the problems. I would ask, "Please can you tell me why he is so withdrawn? Why does he scream if you try to get his head wet? Why is he so terrified of animals? Why does he get so upset when he has to stand up in front of other people?"</p><p>I never got any answers that made sense, or helped.</p><p></p><p>easy child 2/difficult child 2 was assessed at age 4. She was a VERY bright kid, driving me crazy with her demands to go to school. She had already done the pre-school course for kids beginning school the following year, and done well. She was ready for school but the law said she was too young.</p><p></p><p>I got the law changed. She was actually a test case in the new guidelines. She tested as IQ of 145. Vineland score gave her age equivalent of 6. She did well at school for several years but behaviour became more odd. She was still demanding - things had to happen a certain way - the same demanding kid who insisted she should be in school, would now insist she had to have her ear to the floor while the other kids were marching, so she could hear and feel the vibrations.</p><p></p><p>But she is very bright. She aces IQ tests. She has a few sub-tests where she scores much lower, but most are scores of 17. This means she adapts fast. This makes it really hard to assess for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), so despite what we believe, nobody will diagnose Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). "Asperger's traits" is all we can get. And ADD.</p><p></p><p>We've gone from wanting a diagnosis that's appropriate for each kid, to making up our own minds and dealing with the problems we identify for ourselves.</p><p></p><p>I don't think this is an issue of parental intelligence as much as parental confidence and determination. I was talking to another parent of a difficult child today. Her son's funding was cancelled when he was going into high school. I've known this to happen with other families; if you appeal they usually reinstate the funding. They're just trying it on, to save money. The parent I talked to today never appealed, she didn't know she could. She is very intelligent, but she is also someone who does what she is told. I am not. But even so, I have still toed the line when I should have argued. I have learnt to not be so reticent to disagree with a teacher, a doctor, a specialist. If I think someone has got it wrong, I will say so. If they persist in doing something which I feel is VERY wrong, I get heavy. I don't like bullying but I will become one if I am desperate to rescue my child from an intolerable situation. Become one with a clear conscience, too, if I feel nothing else has worked to stop someone bullying or harming my child.</p><p></p><p>In general, however, I have rarely needed to get this heavy with someone. In the past I always held back too much and decisions were made which I disliked, which generally WERE shown to be the wrong decision in hindsight. All this has given me the confidence to say, now, "I know what I am talking about - do it my way." I am now far less tolerant of a situation I feel is a waste of time and effort as well as damaging.</p><p></p><p>I loathe injustice. Always have. Now I'm even worse about it. I recognise that people sometimes make mistakes, but when they continue to make the same ones they will find me tapping on their shoulder.</p><p></p><p>I have to be careful to not kick rear ends when my kids don't want them kicked. Sometimes I have to let my kids fight their own battles. Having to take a step back and watch them struggle is very hard, but when that ask me then I do it.</p><p></p><p>Life and parenting is a steep learning curve. Parents who simply parent by numbers never learn because they think they're already doing it right. They can't be told, so I stop trying to tell them. Same with teachers - a teacher like that is someone I now will go to great lengths to keep away from my child.</p><p></p><p>It's tough, but we learn. Every day, we learn more.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 88682, member: 1991"] It's different again for us. In Australia they are very reluctant to even consider bipolar in a child. Plus, I don't think we have anything resembling a neuropsychologist. We've had wrong diagnoses before. difficult child 1 was diagnosed ADHD when he was six but I never felt it explained most of the problems. I would ask, "Please can you tell me why he is so withdrawn? Why does he scream if you try to get his head wet? Why is he so terrified of animals? Why does he get so upset when he has to stand up in front of other people?" I never got any answers that made sense, or helped. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was assessed at age 4. She was a VERY bright kid, driving me crazy with her demands to go to school. She had already done the pre-school course for kids beginning school the following year, and done well. She was ready for school but the law said she was too young. I got the law changed. She was actually a test case in the new guidelines. She tested as IQ of 145. Vineland score gave her age equivalent of 6. She did well at school for several years but behaviour became more odd. She was still demanding - things had to happen a certain way - the same demanding kid who insisted she should be in school, would now insist she had to have her ear to the floor while the other kids were marching, so she could hear and feel the vibrations. But she is very bright. She aces IQ tests. She has a few sub-tests where she scores much lower, but most are scores of 17. This means she adapts fast. This makes it really hard to assess for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), so despite what we believe, nobody will diagnose Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). "Asperger's traits" is all we can get. And ADD. We've gone from wanting a diagnosis that's appropriate for each kid, to making up our own minds and dealing with the problems we identify for ourselves. I don't think this is an issue of parental intelligence as much as parental confidence and determination. I was talking to another parent of a difficult child today. Her son's funding was cancelled when he was going into high school. I've known this to happen with other families; if you appeal they usually reinstate the funding. They're just trying it on, to save money. The parent I talked to today never appealed, she didn't know she could. She is very intelligent, but she is also someone who does what she is told. I am not. But even so, I have still toed the line when I should have argued. I have learnt to not be so reticent to disagree with a teacher, a doctor, a specialist. If I think someone has got it wrong, I will say so. If they persist in doing something which I feel is VERY wrong, I get heavy. I don't like bullying but I will become one if I am desperate to rescue my child from an intolerable situation. Become one with a clear conscience, too, if I feel nothing else has worked to stop someone bullying or harming my child. In general, however, I have rarely needed to get this heavy with someone. In the past I always held back too much and decisions were made which I disliked, which generally WERE shown to be the wrong decision in hindsight. All this has given me the confidence to say, now, "I know what I am talking about - do it my way." I am now far less tolerant of a situation I feel is a waste of time and effort as well as damaging. I loathe injustice. Always have. Now I'm even worse about it. I recognise that people sometimes make mistakes, but when they continue to make the same ones they will find me tapping on their shoulder. I have to be careful to not kick rear ends when my kids don't want them kicked. Sometimes I have to let my kids fight their own battles. Having to take a step back and watch them struggle is very hard, but when that ask me then I do it. Life and parenting is a steep learning curve. Parents who simply parent by numbers never learn because they think they're already doing it right. They can't be told, so I stop trying to tell them. Same with teachers - a teacher like that is someone I now will go to great lengths to keep away from my child. It's tough, but we learn. Every day, we learn more. Marg [/QUOTE]
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