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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 739457" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Penny and welcome back. So sorry for your troubles (still) with your son.</p><p> Oh my has it been three years? How time flys. It has been about three years since I came to cd and I remember your struggles with your son.</p><p> I am glad you have set boundaries for yourself, and your son knows this. Your daughter will get there when she is ready.</p><p> I am so sorry Penny, for your sadness and frustration. How I know the pain. I think it is important to recognize it and allow it to flow.</p><p> Being a kind and good human certainly helps to guide our children in the right direction, but, it doesn’t mean they will stay on the path. There are so many other influences out there. They grow up and make choices, that can be exacerbated by mental challenges, self medication, addiction, you name it.</p><p>I think we all go back and roll those tapes, wondering where things went wrong. My two have actually screamed at me that it is all of my fault. I would get mad, then sad, then fall into the fog again. Was I a perfect Mom? Heck no. But, I tried my best.I can find instances where I wish I had done this, or that, but the truth is, we all make mistakes. I have five kids, two off the rails. My other kids just shake their heads at the choices of their siblings. I have to take my cue from them. My two would do okay for a bit, then fall into the deep end. They had chance after chance to choose better, but didn’t. I still have hope that one day they will tire of the consequences and choose better, but I have no expectations.</p><p>At times it is hard to go through the motions of my own life, with the reality of having two daughters off the rails. I find respite here, posting and like Copa, find that in my response to others, I am talking to myself. Urging myself to carry on to try my best to live well. It takes more effort some days than others. What keeps me going is prayer and believing that the best chance my two have is if I build my own strength and determination to forge on. Some days it is one breath at a time.</p><p>I am glad to see you back, but sorry for your need to be here. Please don’t feel you are taking time away from others in need, or embarrassed by your “weakness” when it comes to your son. These are our children, who we raised with love and hopes for a good life. It is a difficult road for us to travel when their lives are so complicated, especially when there are grandchildren involved.</p><p>I am so sorry for your aching mommas heart.</p><p>Be kind to yourself, Penny. You didn’t cause this, can’t control it or fix it. That in itself is a grief that we have to deal with.</p><p>You are not alone.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 739457, member: 19522"] Hi Penny and welcome back. So sorry for your troubles (still) with your son. Oh my has it been three years? How time flys. It has been about three years since I came to cd and I remember your struggles with your son. I am glad you have set boundaries for yourself, and your son knows this. Your daughter will get there when she is ready. I am so sorry Penny, for your sadness and frustration. How I know the pain. I think it is important to recognize it and allow it to flow. Being a kind and good human certainly helps to guide our children in the right direction, but, it doesn’t mean they will stay on the path. There are so many other influences out there. They grow up and make choices, that can be exacerbated by mental challenges, self medication, addiction, you name it. I think we all go back and roll those tapes, wondering where things went wrong. My two have actually screamed at me that it is all of my fault. I would get mad, then sad, then fall into the fog again. Was I a perfect Mom? Heck no. But, I tried my best.I can find instances where I wish I had done this, or that, but the truth is, we all make mistakes. I have five kids, two off the rails. My other kids just shake their heads at the choices of their siblings. I have to take my cue from them. My two would do okay for a bit, then fall into the deep end. They had chance after chance to choose better, but didn’t. I still have hope that one day they will tire of the consequences and choose better, but I have no expectations. At times it is hard to go through the motions of my own life, with the reality of having two daughters off the rails. I find respite here, posting and like Copa, find that in my response to others, I am talking to myself. Urging myself to carry on to try my best to live well. It takes more effort some days than others. What keeps me going is prayer and believing that the best chance my two have is if I build my own strength and determination to forge on. Some days it is one breath at a time. I am glad to see you back, but sorry for your need to be here. Please don’t feel you are taking time away from others in need, or embarrassed by your “weakness” when it comes to your son. These are our children, who we raised with love and hopes for a good life. It is a difficult road for us to travel when their lives are so complicated, especially when there are grandchildren involved. I am so sorry for your aching mommas heart. Be kind to yourself, Penny. You didn’t cause this, can’t control it or fix it. That in itself is a grief that we have to deal with. You are not alone. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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