I need advice and i have nowhere to turn. Here is the back story of whats going on:
I am Bipolar/MDD/ADHD. I have been instituded multiple times for multiple reasons. I made my parenst worried everyday, andi am sure they still do. Aside from my mental illness, i have accomplish things in life. But like most know, one day your good and the next your on your way to the hospital without an explanation. Everyday i wake up and ask why am i here suffereing, why cant i just live happily. Well recently, i have been good no hospital, when through a deviliating depression but made it with out any major issues, just with tears and alot of tea, for the first time i felt like i had a choice, and its was clear that the choice was to live, to i fought, the hardest most painful thing i have ever had to do, so far. Yet thos month i have been dealing with my girlfriend, she has MDD, has abused drugs through out her life, and finally crashed and couldnt get up. It had been a month since she was able to do anything for her self. She had been medicating herself and drugging herself in order not to feel. So a long time i didnt know what to do. I didnt want to baker act her, since i didnt want her to feel alone and betrayed. Then over the weeked she bought a gun, thank god for FL law, 5 day clearance befor handing it. This week has been evenful, i finally had to tell her that either she gets help or i walk, i was hoping that she would say help me. and thank god she did. We found this place where she can admit herself and get treated for her depression, she is going to be fine. Yet the issue is as follow, after dealing with her problems and having to be strong for her, so that she can fight and live through it all, so that she can see one day the beauty that i saw that one day of just happiness. I let my self go. I am tired, weak and ready to run. I dont want to be the person that admits and then tells you i am done. But i cant go on. I feel like i fought and somewhere along the lines i have lost sight of me. My medications arent working, talking to the doctors, I still fighting everyday, just to get up and make it to work, so that we can pay for her medical bills,But i just dont think i have it in me anymore. I love her, and she is all i have, but i just cant. Help!? can someone please Help?!
