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Just need to vent to people who understand what I'm going through
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 658951" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi Mtdenise, welcome back.</p><p></p><p>It really does help to write it all down, over and over again if you want to. I think writing as a therapeutic practice is one of the best things about this forum.</p><p></p><p>My son did the same thing as yours is doing. Little by little, person by person, he stole from everybody who gave him any kind of access, including his girlfriend's parents, me, his dad, his stepmom, our neighbors, his high school friend's dad...and who knows how many more?</p><p></p><p>Usually, it's about drugs. Interesting that many alcoholics, from what I have heard from others, don't have the same "stealing" issues as those addicted to drugs. </p><p></p><p>I put slide locks on all of my doors, and changed the code on one of my garage doors, only to realize later I forgot to change the code on the second door...and he got in that way. Unbelievable.</p><p></p><p>It's the addiction and when they are in the grip of it, this is what they all do. It's not personal. (that took me a long, long time to understand).</p><p></p><p>You and your husband can't be involved much at all, if any, with someone you can't trust when you leave the room for five minutes. During the really bad years, if I ever allowed him here, I emptied out the drawers and cabinets in the powder room so he would have somewhere to use the bathroom. I didn't allow him to go upstairs and we basically watched him if he came for dinner. </p><p></p><p>Very ugly to have to do that with your own son. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Keep the faith. We never know when and how and if the change will come, and they finally get so sick and tired of their lives that they are eager....ready to work for it...for change. That is what we have to stand by and stand back and hope will happen.</p><p></p><p>As long as we provide the safety net, that won't happen. So the onus is on us to do the very hard work of detachment.</p><p></p><p>We're here for you. We get it. We care. Come here anytime to write and read. Warm hugs today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 658951, member: 17542"] Hi Mtdenise, welcome back. It really does help to write it all down, over and over again if you want to. I think writing as a therapeutic practice is one of the best things about this forum. My son did the same thing as yours is doing. Little by little, person by person, he stole from everybody who gave him any kind of access, including his girlfriend's parents, me, his dad, his stepmom, our neighbors, his high school friend's dad...and who knows how many more? Usually, it's about drugs. Interesting that many alcoholics, from what I have heard from others, don't have the same "stealing" issues as those addicted to drugs. I put slide locks on all of my doors, and changed the code on one of my garage doors, only to realize later I forgot to change the code on the second door...and he got in that way. Unbelievable. It's the addiction and when they are in the grip of it, this is what they all do. It's not personal. (that took me a long, long time to understand). You and your husband can't be involved much at all, if any, with someone you can't trust when you leave the room for five minutes. During the really bad years, if I ever allowed him here, I emptied out the drawers and cabinets in the powder room so he would have somewhere to use the bathroom. I didn't allow him to go upstairs and we basically watched him if he came for dinner. Very ugly to have to do that with your own son. Hang in there. Keep the faith. We never know when and how and if the change will come, and they finally get so sick and tired of their lives that they are eager....ready to work for it...for change. That is what we have to stand by and stand back and hope will happen. As long as we provide the safety net, that won't happen. So the onus is on us to do the very hard work of detachment. We're here for you. We get it. We care. Come here anytime to write and read. Warm hugs today. [/QUOTE]
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