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Parent Emeritus
Just need to vent to people who understand what I'm going through
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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 659004" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>mtdenise -- Hello and welcome to this site. The complexity and difficulty of your situation (and all of ours) cannot be overstated. Vent away! You are wise to create/build/re-build your own life along the way. I wish your son all the best. But right now my heart is with you. I'm glad you have some boundaries and some "space". Boundaries have helped us tremendously in our parenting experience. Strong, clear, simple, direct boundaries. We have gone 6 months at a time without hearing from our son. Hard months in some ways -- easier months in other ways. Our son is doing well right now (and we're proud of him!), but we are always reminded that it tends to be a rollercoaster ride......so we just appreciate the good days for what they are. Sometimes, we just accept the bad days for what the they are. Other times we still feel the hurt of the bad days. Our parenting ticket can be a rollercoaster ride, too. </p><p></p><p>My heart is with you for all the best for all of you in your family. You sound wise with your approach and your awareness of boundaries. But, when times feel particularly hard, you can feel free to vent away here!</p><p></p><p>Side Note On Venting --- One day in 2000 (our son was 10) I went through the gazillionth morning of ridiculous arguing to get him out of bed for school on time so I could be to work on time. Over the years we tried it all -- from soothing music to rubbing his back softly to banging pots and pans to dumping water on him. Nothing worked. One morning I was riding the elevator up to work and there were only 2 of us in the elevator (I was late). I trusted my friend in the elevator, so................oh, boy, oh, boy did I VENT! Let 'er rip for the whole ride (which was only 4 floors, but it's amazing how much can be said so quickly in effective venting mode! LOL!). Aaaaaaand then I felt ready to face my day at work. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Funny, this same friend was just over visiting last week and we spoke of that day............and it still gives us a big belly-laugh! (though, that is not how I felt that day while venting!)</p><p></p><p>I share that just to let you know you're not alone in this chaotic experience!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 659004, member: 18284"] mtdenise -- Hello and welcome to this site. The complexity and difficulty of your situation (and all of ours) cannot be overstated. Vent away! You are wise to create/build/re-build your own life along the way. I wish your son all the best. But right now my heart is with you. I'm glad you have some boundaries and some "space". Boundaries have helped us tremendously in our parenting experience. Strong, clear, simple, direct boundaries. We have gone 6 months at a time without hearing from our son. Hard months in some ways -- easier months in other ways. Our son is doing well right now (and we're proud of him!), but we are always reminded that it tends to be a rollercoaster ride......so we just appreciate the good days for what they are. Sometimes, we just accept the bad days for what the they are. Other times we still feel the hurt of the bad days. Our parenting ticket can be a rollercoaster ride, too. My heart is with you for all the best for all of you in your family. You sound wise with your approach and your awareness of boundaries. But, when times feel particularly hard, you can feel free to vent away here! Side Note On Venting --- One day in 2000 (our son was 10) I went through the gazillionth morning of ridiculous arguing to get him out of bed for school on time so I could be to work on time. Over the years we tried it all -- from soothing music to rubbing his back softly to banging pots and pans to dumping water on him. Nothing worked. One morning I was riding the elevator up to work and there were only 2 of us in the elevator (I was late). I trusted my friend in the elevator, so................oh, boy, oh, boy did I VENT! Let 'er rip for the whole ride (which was only 4 floors, but it's amazing how much can be said so quickly in effective venting mode! LOL!). Aaaaaaand then I felt ready to face my day at work. :) Funny, this same friend was just over visiting last week and we spoke of that day............and it still gives us a big belly-laugh! (though, that is not how I felt that day while venting!) I share that just to let you know you're not alone in this chaotic experience! [/QUOTE]
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