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Parent Emeritus
Just need to vent to people who understand what I'm going through
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 659098" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Mtdenise...you sound so much like me. Everything you write, it seems like I have had the same thoughts and feelings.</p><p></p><p>For a long long time I used to worry over how I would know if and when he ever truly wanted to change. Would it be his voice? What he said? How he said it? What he did? How he did it? What if he was really serious and I didn't believe him? </p><p></p><p>My dear husband who has worked with many parents and their addicted children, would say this: oh you'll know. It will be in every aspect of him. Strangely for my son it appeared like this, at first: he was sleeping outside on a bench last summer, homeless. He got a job at McDonald's. He had to be there at 4 </p><p>am. He would wake up with no alarm and start walking to work. He did this for at least two months before someone---not us---loaned him a bike. That is how it began. We did not interfere or "help" until late October when we helped him get into an apartment. We had been burned so so so many times that we knew we had to stand way way back and let him do the heavy lifting. </p><p></p><p>Today he has another full time plus job about 60 hours a week. He has a car. He lives in a two bedroom trailer. He pays his bills. He had satisfied one probation completely and is working on the second, paying double payments each month. He had applied to go to a tech school in the fall. We still stand way back in terms of jumping in to make his life easier. I want to a lot, but I resist. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there. We are here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 659098, member: 17542"] Mtdenise...you sound so much like me. Everything you write, it seems like I have had the same thoughts and feelings. For a long long time I used to worry over how I would know if and when he ever truly wanted to change. Would it be his voice? What he said? How he said it? What he did? How he did it? What if he was really serious and I didn't believe him? My dear husband who has worked with many parents and their addicted children, would say this: oh you'll know. It will be in every aspect of him. Strangely for my son it appeared like this, at first: he was sleeping outside on a bench last summer, homeless. He got a job at McDonald's. He had to be there at 4 am. He would wake up with no alarm and start walking to work. He did this for at least two months before someone---not us---loaned him a bike. That is how it began. We did not interfere or "help" until late October when we helped him get into an apartment. We had been burned so so so many times that we knew we had to stand way way back and let him do the heavy lifting. Today he has another full time plus job about 60 hours a week. He has a car. He lives in a two bedroom trailer. He pays his bills. He had satisfied one probation completely and is working on the second, paying double payments each month. He had applied to go to a tech school in the fall. We still stand way back in terms of jumping in to make his life easier. I want to a lot, but I resist. Hang in there. We are here for you. [/QUOTE]
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