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Just so hurt. Am I blind?
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 744142" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Waking - don't beat yourself up, and don't panic! You don't even have a diagnosis yet. None of us here can diagnose your son over the internet, and we could be wrong. Being smart, successful in school and never getting into trouble are excellent reasons to not have ever felt the need to delve into this before. </p><p></p><p>This is something to explore and consider, not panic and feel bad over. </p><p></p><p>Recent research actually has suggested that ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) may be connected genetically, so its common to see both in families. But again, this is just a data point, a clue, not a diagnosis. </p><p></p><p>Your son may just have a few "Aspie traits" to be aware of that don't cause him any real trouble. Or he may be someone who would benefit from some interventions on the social skills side. There is a widely used quote "If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." There is a WIDE range of possible behaviors and traits, not all shared by every individual. Some only have one or two traits, some have a whole bucket full. And there is wide variation in the degree to which they may impair someone, from "quite a bit" to "not at all". Getting a formal diagnosis may be helpful for your son, as it was for me, or he may resist the label or just feel it's not necessary. </p><p></p><p>You have not failed him. You have advocated for him repeatedly. You have helped him be self-aware and given him important tools for self-reliance and success. This is not failure, at all! A diagnosis, if you choose to pursue it, is just another frame to look at things through. It is not definitive. Your son is an individual, and overall he is doing great. </p><p></p><p>And remember that the very traits that make him different from his peers are also the traits that make him special, and are possibly the key to his greatest gifts. Aspies often think differently and excel in areas where neurotypical people often struggle. </p><p></p><p>Just as with ANY kid, your job is to help him discover his gifts and be the best he can be. It sounds like you're doing that. I think you're doing great.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 744142, member: 23349"] Waking - don't beat yourself up, and don't panic! You don't even have a diagnosis yet. None of us here can diagnose your son over the internet, and we could be wrong. Being smart, successful in school and never getting into trouble are excellent reasons to not have ever felt the need to delve into this before. This is something to explore and consider, not panic and feel bad over. Recent research actually has suggested that ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) may be connected genetically, so its common to see both in families. But again, this is just a data point, a clue, not a diagnosis. Your son may just have a few "Aspie traits" to be aware of that don't cause him any real trouble. Or he may be someone who would benefit from some interventions on the social skills side. There is a widely used quote "If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." There is a WIDE range of possible behaviors and traits, not all shared by every individual. Some only have one or two traits, some have a whole bucket full. And there is wide variation in the degree to which they may impair someone, from "quite a bit" to "not at all". Getting a formal diagnosis may be helpful for your son, as it was for me, or he may resist the label or just feel it's not necessary. You have not failed him. You have advocated for him repeatedly. You have helped him be self-aware and given him important tools for self-reliance and success. This is not failure, at all! A diagnosis, if you choose to pursue it, is just another frame to look at things through. It is not definitive. Your son is an individual, and overall he is doing great. And remember that the very traits that make him different from his peers are also the traits that make him special, and are possibly the key to his greatest gifts. Aspies often think differently and excel in areas where neurotypical people often struggle. Just as with ANY kid, your job is to help him discover his gifts and be the best he can be. It sounds like you're doing that. I think you're doing great. [/QUOTE]
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