Just wanna here from my friends

[sooooo tired]

OK so Ive got this detachment thing down. Im going on a year and a half without talking to my daughter. I am very happy in fact I just got engaged to a wonderful man! But the old familiar guilty feelings sneak in at times and I wonder....where she is what is she doing is she ok? And since Ive been really busy with my life change i dont get to see my grandson very often, and when i do get him my boyfriend is with me and i think my grandson resents the fact that he doesnt have me to himself anymore. I worry so much about the little guy. He recently lost his grandpa. And i am really his only grandparent now. I am having a wonderful time, my guy took me to new england for my birthday and thats where he proposed. I want to enjoy my life with him, but I just cant shake the guilt sometimes.

 

[sooooo tired]

Sooo tired. Hi. And congratulations.

I think what you describe is realistic and expected for us. This is tragic. But you have the rest of your life to live. self-sacrifice makes everything worse. ask me.

Of course you miss her and worry. All of us feel guilt. But the goal as to live life not falling on our swords.

Of course grandson would want you all to himself. Maybe when he comes over you can have an outing Just you two.

thanks for your reply, it is so comforting to know i can jump on here at any time for a little boost from my friends!

 

[sooooo tired]

thanks for answering my post, it is always nice to know you can jump on here at any time for a little boost from your friends. this site has gotten me through alot of rough times! so grateful for you guys!

 

[BusynMember]

You cant deprive yourself of fun or hide boyfriend because of your grandson, precious though Im sure he is. In the grand scheme of things, unless you get legal custody away from your daughter, grandparents have no rights and you wont see him much and you cant tell your daughter to raise him right. You can not save him from her.

Enjoy your good man and your good life and love grandson when you can. You know you cant save your daughter. Its ok to worry at times, but dont let it ruin your new and wonderful life.

So happy for you!

 

[sooooo tired]

thanks for the encouragement! Love all of you!

 

[susiestar]

Enjoy your life and do the best you can! You cannot live your life to please others. It isn't wrong to try to have some one on one time with grandson, maybe a trip to the park or a McDonalds or whatever. It is unreasonable to not have the new Grandpa to be around at all. The new Gpa to be may develop a very special relationship with your grandson. One of my Gmas was technically a stepGma, but she was just a Gma to me. I loved her very deeply.

 

[Tanya M]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so happy for you.

It's good to hear from you too

You know, I think we will always have those feelings that come up and we wonder where they are, how they are doing, etc.... For me, I'm able to think about it for a few moments then let it go. Not at all like it used to be when I would spend days worrying and wondering. As long as you keep it in check and keep moving on with your life,


Perhaps the next time you see your grandson, have your fiance give him a small gift. Since he lost his grandpa your fiance could be a good male role model for him.

Your fiance sounds very nice. How exciting that he took you to New England and proposed there.
I wish you all the best life can offer.

 

[pigless in VA]

Congratulations! Feeling guilty won't fix your daughter so why waste time on it. Enjoy your life; you deserve it.