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Kicked my 23 yr. old son out - was I wrong?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 648544" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hugs to you SeaGenie!!</p><p> </p><p>My son is also my one and only. He's 33 and I do not have a relationship of any value with him. The only time he contacts me is when he wants something. I understand the emotions you are going through, I've been there. You will get through this!!!</p><p> </p><p>I would suggest you limit how much you are trying to "track" him. You are expending precious energy that will gain you nothing. I know how hard it is to not know but sometimes knowing is worse. Trust me on this.</p><p> </p><p>Have you ever lost a loved one? There is a greiving process that follows. The same is true when our difficult adult children walk out of our lives. There is a process of letting go of detaching. Cleaning out his room will be painful but it will help you to let go. It doesn't mean that you have to throw away all of his things, it simply means you are closing this chapter in your life, a very painful chapter.</p><p>You will not be successful with this unless you dial back your contact and "tracking" him. Gone is the little boy who you had hopes and dreams for. He is an adult, forging his own path, making his own choices whether good or bad.</p><p> </p><p>These difficult children of ours are very resourceful, they always manage to find food to eat and a place to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>You have done all you can. It's time to take YOUR life back. Do not define your existence of being his mom for the past 23 years. You are more than that!! Consuming yourself with worry about him will only keep you stuck. Don't allow him to hold your emotions hostage. Each day do something just for yourself. Dig deep within yourself, find the new you. What hobbies have you always wanted to do? Volunteer somewhere. Find other ways to fill your time and occupy your mind. Close this chapter and start writing a new one.</p><p> </p><p>While it is extremely difficult to go through what we all have it does not have to devistate us unless we allow it to.</p><p> </p><p>There are many here who have been exactly where you are now. We survived the pain!! We have gone onto living a new life that is filled with love and joy. It takes time and work but it is possible.</p><p> </p><p>Hang in there, YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 648544, member: 18516"] Hugs to you SeaGenie!! My son is also my one and only. He's 33 and I do not have a relationship of any value with him. The only time he contacts me is when he wants something. I understand the emotions you are going through, I've been there. You will get through this!!! I would suggest you limit how much you are trying to "track" him. You are expending precious energy that will gain you nothing. I know how hard it is to not know but sometimes knowing is worse. Trust me on this. Have you ever lost a loved one? There is a greiving process that follows. The same is true when our difficult adult children walk out of our lives. There is a process of letting go of detaching. Cleaning out his room will be painful but it will help you to let go. It doesn't mean that you have to throw away all of his things, it simply means you are closing this chapter in your life, a very painful chapter. You will not be successful with this unless you dial back your contact and "tracking" him. Gone is the little boy who you had hopes and dreams for. He is an adult, forging his own path, making his own choices whether good or bad. These difficult children of ours are very resourceful, they always manage to find food to eat and a place to sleep. You have done all you can. It's time to take YOUR life back. Do not define your existence of being his mom for the past 23 years. You are more than that!! Consuming yourself with worry about him will only keep you stuck. Don't allow him to hold your emotions hostage. Each day do something just for yourself. Dig deep within yourself, find the new you. What hobbies have you always wanted to do? Volunteer somewhere. Find other ways to fill your time and occupy your mind. Close this chapter and start writing a new one. While it is extremely difficult to go through what we all have it does not have to devistate us unless we allow it to. There are many here who have been exactly where you are now. We survived the pain!! We have gone onto living a new life that is filled with love and joy. It takes time and work but it is possible. Hang in there, YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!! [/QUOTE]
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Kicked my 23 yr. old son out - was I wrong?
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