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Kicked my 23 yr. old son out - was I wrong?
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<blockquote data-quote="Second Time Around" data-source="post: 648637" data-attributes="member: 18739"><p>Sea Genie, It is like grieving when someone dies and that's a really rough process to go through. But you've made it through before and you can do this. My first husband died from cancer 20 years ago. He got the diagnosis that he had late stage cancer that was all over his body. In a month he was gone. Our son was 4 1/2. It was really tough. There were times when I felt like I was in the bottom of a deep, dark well - that I was totally alone in the universe. I barely managed to function in my job for the first 3-4 months. My brain was in a fog and I could hardly think. But through it all, I kept telling myself over and over that it would get better and I would be ok again. It's so important not to give up. I kept going and tried to do things that I thought I would enjoy and that kept me busy. I saw a therapist regularly. One day I laughed and realized that I was enjoying myself momentarily. Gradually there were more and more of those times until I felt like myself again on a consistent basis. It's been 20 years, but I still occasionally have moments when something strikes me a certain way and I feel that pang of grief. But then I'm ok again. You can do this. You're a survivor. Don't forget that. </p><p></p><p>It's really important to keep telling yourself you can make it and to pick yourself back up when you fall into the grief. It's part of the process and it's normal. Keep doing things that make you feel good - exercise is good, watch a funny movie, join a book club or a cooking club or whatever interests you. And post here as often as you need to. I've only recently started posting, but I've been reading this forum for 5 years to help me cope with my step-son's issues and it's been so helpful.</p><p></p><p>We're all joking about dating sites, but my advice is not to look for a partner when you're feeling lonely. Get yourself in a good place so you feel whole and happy and then you'll be able to find a partner who's a good fit for you. If you try to do that when you're desperately unhappy, you're likely to attract someone who will make your life more unhappy in the long run.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Second Time Around, post: 648637, member: 18739"] Sea Genie, It is like grieving when someone dies and that's a really rough process to go through. But you've made it through before and you can do this. My first husband died from cancer 20 years ago. He got the diagnosis that he had late stage cancer that was all over his body. In a month he was gone. Our son was 4 1/2. It was really tough. There were times when I felt like I was in the bottom of a deep, dark well - that I was totally alone in the universe. I barely managed to function in my job for the first 3-4 months. My brain was in a fog and I could hardly think. But through it all, I kept telling myself over and over that it would get better and I would be ok again. It's so important not to give up. I kept going and tried to do things that I thought I would enjoy and that kept me busy. I saw a therapist regularly. One day I laughed and realized that I was enjoying myself momentarily. Gradually there were more and more of those times until I felt like myself again on a consistent basis. It's been 20 years, but I still occasionally have moments when something strikes me a certain way and I feel that pang of grief. But then I'm ok again. You can do this. You're a survivor. Don't forget that. It's really important to keep telling yourself you can make it and to pick yourself back up when you fall into the grief. It's part of the process and it's normal. Keep doing things that make you feel good - exercise is good, watch a funny movie, join a book club or a cooking club or whatever interests you. And post here as often as you need to. I've only recently started posting, but I've been reading this forum for 5 years to help me cope with my step-son's issues and it's been so helpful. We're all joking about dating sites, but my advice is not to look for a partner when you're feeling lonely. Get yourself in a good place so you feel whole and happy and then you'll be able to find a partner who's a good fit for you. If you try to do that when you're desperately unhappy, you're likely to attract someone who will make your life more unhappy in the long run. [/QUOTE]
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Kicked my 23 yr. old son out - was I wrong?
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