Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Kicked my son out, foster care, fear
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="dayatatime" data-source="post: 705252" data-attributes="member: 17805"><p>Thank you, everyone for all the support. It goes a long way.</p><p></p><p>When I read over the feedback, especially about the idea of respect, my perspective shifts a bit and I can sort of see things from the outside.</p><p></p><p>I guess I have these sort of idealistic notions- like that every human deserves respect- unquestionably. ...and it's not that he was doing *nothing* around the house- but, in truth, it was close to nothing....</p><p></p><p>We'd have fights about mild things... though the fights weren't really fights- because I don't go to that screaming place- it just isn't me. So there'd be things like him leaving his recycling on the counter- but he said it was my fault because he would have to open the front door dispose of the recycling, and that was humiliating...or something. I never agreed with him- but he'd be this big wall of will and blame.</p><p></p><p>Standing up for myself is something I need to learn to do better. I see it all over my life. I have a direct report at work who is a snarky, 23-year-old twit. He's disrespectful to me constantly. There was a small incident today in which he was rolling his eyes at me, questioning my judgement and that of my boss- afterward I felt angry, but at the time I cowered a bit and calmly defended our choice- which was based on factors that were none of his business. Then later in the day he called me... he had just learned to measure the carats in diamonds, but I had someone else re-do it who has been in the business longer than has been alive and I changed his record because he was off- he was generally pissy. He infuriates me daily. It's like parenting all over. I'm being very concrete about these difficulties, because they are simple, not totally overwhelming places that I need to practice.</p><p></p><p>A man asked me to lunch today, too. I have zero minus desire to go to lunch with him. I only talk to him because my job requires it, and I can sometimes get some information from him. But I said yes, then just put off scheduling.</p><p></p><p>I really, really, really don't want to be this thing that just conforms to the will of others.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dayatatime, post: 705252, member: 17805"] Thank you, everyone for all the support. It goes a long way. When I read over the feedback, especially about the idea of respect, my perspective shifts a bit and I can sort of see things from the outside. I guess I have these sort of idealistic notions- like that every human deserves respect- unquestionably. ...and it's not that he was doing *nothing* around the house- but, in truth, it was close to nothing.... We'd have fights about mild things... though the fights weren't really fights- because I don't go to that screaming place- it just isn't me. So there'd be things like him leaving his recycling on the counter- but he said it was my fault because he would have to open the front door dispose of the recycling, and that was humiliating...or something. I never agreed with him- but he'd be this big wall of will and blame. Standing up for myself is something I need to learn to do better. I see it all over my life. I have a direct report at work who is a snarky, 23-year-old twit. He's disrespectful to me constantly. There was a small incident today in which he was rolling his eyes at me, questioning my judgement and that of my boss- afterward I felt angry, but at the time I cowered a bit and calmly defended our choice- which was based on factors that were none of his business. Then later in the day he called me... he had just learned to measure the carats in diamonds, but I had someone else re-do it who has been in the business longer than has been alive and I changed his record because he was off- he was generally pissy. He infuriates me daily. It's like parenting all over. I'm being very concrete about these difficulties, because they are simple, not totally overwhelming places that I need to practice. A man asked me to lunch today, too. I have zero minus desire to go to lunch with him. I only talk to him because my job requires it, and I can sometimes get some information from him. But I said yes, then just put off scheduling. I really, really, really don't want to be this thing that just conforms to the will of others. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Kicked my son out, foster care, fear
Top