You do it like you eat an elephant-1 bite (step) at a time. Just keep say no or say nothing at all when she asks . When she rages or pushes your buttons, do not engage--walk away, hang up the phone. Practice our list of phrases to detach. I have them on my phone--just in case-for easy reference. You can't change her, you have to change your reaction. YES-IT HOOVERS.
Sometimes -I have to remember that the choice I want (a decent relationship w a decent son) is NOT available. Simply not on the table. And I cant make one happen by will. Trust me, I've tried everything and it's an exercise in futility. And the more we dance for them, the more they use us and the worse WE feel. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. And you have a delightful son watching -whom you have to finish raising too. When you detach, you empower
yourself and you let your easy child know he doesn't have to put up with this either. I am finally starting to see my pcs relax and have fun more freely. Thats been the best reward. {{{hugs}}}
