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General Parenting
Lack of Attentiveness in Kids Today
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 762873" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This sentence really captured me, Nandina. This is the underlying story of my life. And one way I do not understand my son. I waited and expected for him to act more like me, which is to say purposeful and motivated, and it didn't happen. He has said it. "I'm not you Mom." Well, of course, if I accept that he is seriously mentally ill, that explains everything, but I fight it.</p><p></p><p>For this to happen, what you write about, you really have to have the capacity to "hurry up and wait." Our kids can be impulse-driven, or they can be slugs and veg, but they can't integrate the two. They can't harness their energy towards an incremental or complex goal. It seems like our kids can't "settle" themselves on purpose, with discipline. Based on my observations of my own son, he has a hard time regulating himself at all.</p><p></p><p>I would want him to go on medication. And what would medication do? Institute some sort of regulatory ability to harness himself. And when I write it like that, it just makes me feel sad.</p><p></p><p>I am wondering if technology helps these types of people both calm their impulses and organize what is fractured. I am wondering if worst of all it guides them and motivates them. (Scary in these times of political polarization. My son is captured by these wild ideas.)</p><p></p><p>There have been injuries and omissions in my son's life that can explain his missing pieces. But how could there be a generation of similarly affected people? There are people at 28 and 33 who are surgeons, pilots, gifted artists, etc. who do not conform to the scary model that I am describing. Is it us who have been warped, by looking at our children and generalizing, and me, after 7 years on this board, have my views been shaped by what I have seen? I don't know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 762873, member: 18958"] This sentence really captured me, Nandina. This is the underlying story of my life. And one way I do not understand my son. I waited and expected for him to act more like me, which is to say purposeful and motivated, and it didn't happen. He has said it. "I'm not you Mom." Well, of course, if I accept that he is seriously mentally ill, that explains everything, but I fight it. For this to happen, what you write about, you really have to have the capacity to "hurry up and wait." Our kids can be impulse-driven, or they can be slugs and veg, but they can't integrate the two. They can't harness their energy towards an incremental or complex goal. It seems like our kids can't "settle" themselves on purpose, with discipline. Based on my observations of my own son, he has a hard time regulating himself at all. I would want him to go on medication. And what would medication do? Institute some sort of regulatory ability to harness himself. And when I write it like that, it just makes me feel sad. I am wondering if technology helps these types of people both calm their impulses and organize what is fractured. I am wondering if worst of all it guides them and motivates them. (Scary in these times of political polarization. My son is captured by these wild ideas.) There have been injuries and omissions in my son's life that can explain his missing pieces. But how could there be a generation of similarly affected people? There are people at 28 and 33 who are surgeons, pilots, gifted artists, etc. who do not conform to the scary model that I am describing. Is it us who have been warped, by looking at our children and generalizing, and me, after 7 years on this board, have my views been shaped by what I have seen? I don't know. [/QUOTE]
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