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Last night he said "no contact." He called this morning.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 663552" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My son may listen but he does not really hear. He uses what I care about only as an instruction manual to manipulate me.</p><p></p><p>The more I permit this, the harder and more cruel he becomes. He wants everything free, at no cost to him. No compromise. No responsibilities. No expectations. He does not care what the cost is to anybody else.</p><p></p><p>I do not believe my son. So his communications are not really meaningful. They are so much noise, actually. They are designed to elicit desired responses, or to discourage those he does not want to hear. This is not communication. It is instrumental.</p><p></p><p>If there is any hope for my son, it will come from learning gratitude. That love, care, help, are not something to be trashed and thrown in people's faces.</p><p></p><p>Somehow the love and care I have given my son has taught him that these are cheap and meaningless things, that can be stomped on and thrown out, easily replenished.</p><p></p><p>He is learning now that what he took to be so much trash is not so easily found. I do not anymore care one way or another whether he suffers.</p><p></p><p>That others helped him not suffer did not motivate him to be a good man. He has betrayed everybody who in good faith tried to help him.</p><p></p><p>If he is so damaged as to be incapable of cooperation or reciprocity, let him enter a treatment facility. Still he does not want to. He wants to dominate. He is seeing that others on the street seek to dominate too. Betrayer and betrayed. Predator and prey. Taker and giver.</p><p></p><p>How long he chooses this life of the jungle, is up to him. I have gotten out of the way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 663552, member: 18958"] My son may listen but he does not really hear. He uses what I care about only as an instruction manual to manipulate me. The more I permit this, the harder and more cruel he becomes. He wants everything free, at no cost to him. No compromise. No responsibilities. No expectations. He does not care what the cost is to anybody else. I do not believe my son. So his communications are not really meaningful. They are so much noise, actually. They are designed to elicit desired responses, or to discourage those he does not want to hear. This is not communication. It is instrumental. If there is any hope for my son, it will come from learning gratitude. That love, care, help, are not something to be trashed and thrown in people's faces. Somehow the love and care I have given my son has taught him that these are cheap and meaningless things, that can be stomped on and thrown out, easily replenished. He is learning now that what he took to be so much trash is not so easily found. I do not anymore care one way or another whether he suffers. That others helped him not suffer did not motivate him to be a good man. He has betrayed everybody who in good faith tried to help him. If he is so damaged as to be incapable of cooperation or reciprocity, let him enter a treatment facility. Still he does not want to. He wants to dominate. He is seeing that others on the street seek to dominate too. Betrayer and betrayed. Predator and prey. Taker and giver. How long he chooses this life of the jungle, is up to him. I have gotten out of the way. [/QUOTE]
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Last night he said "no contact." He called this morning.
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