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Lie after lie
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 745913" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, ten degrees dont make anyone either financially responsible if the person doesnt want to be responsible nor will it make your daughter care about you above her own desires. </p><p></p><p>Obviously she has a pattern of making you pay her bills and you do it. This benefits her financial situation which is what she prefers. She isnt a dummy. She wants you to pay her bills and until you stop doing so she is rhe sort of person who will sack you with everything. And not feel badly about it.</p><p></p><p>Now I do not at all blame you for her character. I believe personality is largely genetic and obviously her selfishness and lack of caring did not cime from you. Could be a grandmother or aunt. But she is not caring of the needs of others. She will do anything for HER needs. She is s Me person.</p><p></p><p>I am not sure this was your story but I believe you bought her a house, many cars AND a business. Most adults would be very grateful, may even refuse to accept all that. But your daugjter thinks you owe her this and more, like paying her loan and she believes you will. She is very selfish.</p><p></p><p>All you can do is stop being surprised when she acts like the person she is. It is what it is. If you dont want to pay her loan, dont. I wouldnt. But I am not you. Do it if you feel you must and maybe stop being shocked when she tries to stick you with more of her bills. It is who she is. </p><p></p><p>Look up Radical Acceptance. I love it!</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile take care of yourself and your loved ones who are kind to you and accept your daughter as she is. You cant change the core of her. All your kindness will not change her attitude toward others. It hasnt.</p><p></p><p>At any time you can cut off her party and shut down The Bank of Mom. You dont owe her all these monetary gifts. Just think about it thsn do what you feel you must do. Do you see a therapist?</p><p></p><p>Take care of YOU now.</p><p></p><p>Hugs, love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 745913, member: 1550"] Hon, ten degrees dont make anyone either financially responsible if the person doesnt want to be responsible nor will it make your daughter care about you above her own desires. Obviously she has a pattern of making you pay her bills and you do it. This benefits her financial situation which is what she prefers. She isnt a dummy. She wants you to pay her bills and until you stop doing so she is rhe sort of person who will sack you with everything. And not feel badly about it. Now I do not at all blame you for her character. I believe personality is largely genetic and obviously her selfishness and lack of caring did not cime from you. Could be a grandmother or aunt. But she is not caring of the needs of others. She will do anything for HER needs. She is s Me person. I am not sure this was your story but I believe you bought her a house, many cars AND a business. Most adults would be very grateful, may even refuse to accept all that. But your daugjter thinks you owe her this and more, like paying her loan and she believes you will. She is very selfish. All you can do is stop being surprised when she acts like the person she is. It is what it is. If you dont want to pay her loan, dont. I wouldnt. But I am not you. Do it if you feel you must and maybe stop being shocked when she tries to stick you with more of her bills. It is who she is. Look up Radical Acceptance. I love it! Meanwhile take care of yourself and your loved ones who are kind to you and accept your daughter as she is. You cant change the core of her. All your kindness will not change her attitude toward others. It hasnt. At any time you can cut off her party and shut down The Bank of Mom. You dont owe her all these monetary gifts. Just think about it thsn do what you feel you must do. Do you see a therapist? Take care of YOU now. Hugs, love and light! [/QUOTE]
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