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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 737653" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I understand, one of my kids lies constantly - big things, little things, inconsequential thngs, doesn't matter. She lies .. and then if confronted, she has a semi-logical excuse ready so quickly it's scary. It's like gaslighting - I must be the crazy one because that's not what she said/did etc.</p><p></p><p>I recently got some good advice from my therapist on this subject. She said to think of the lies similar to the way I would to an alcoholic drinking. Accept that it's going to happen, and let it go. You know an alcoholic is going to drink, nothing you can do about it. You can't change it, can only change how you react. You know your child is going to lie, nothing you can do about it except change how you react... or ignore it.</p><p></p><p>I have experience with plenty of alcoholics (and alanon) -- so trying look at it that way helps me. I got tired of spending precious energy on catching her in lies. Oh I still falter times, but it helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 737653, member: 1157"] I understand, one of my kids lies constantly - big things, little things, inconsequential thngs, doesn't matter. She lies .. and then if confronted, she has a semi-logical excuse ready so quickly it's scary. It's like gaslighting - I must be the crazy one because that's not what she said/did etc. I recently got some good advice from my therapist on this subject. She said to think of the lies similar to the way I would to an alcoholic drinking. Accept that it's going to happen, and let it go. You know an alcoholic is going to drink, nothing you can do about it. You can't change it, can only change how you react. You know your child is going to lie, nothing you can do about it except change how you react... or ignore it. I have experience with plenty of alcoholics (and alanon) -- so trying look at it that way helps me. I got tired of spending precious energy on catching her in lies. Oh I still falter times, but it helps. [/QUOTE]
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