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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 755648" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I don't think it's age appropriate for this kind of monitoring. What is the goal here? That she grow up or that she is accountable to you? Don't you want her to be independent and autonomous? How will she learn if you insert yourself?</p><p>I think this is appropriate. She is a grown woman. She is working. She is about to finish her bachelor's degree. She is bucking you. Let her go.</p><p>I agree. The only way that this might work, with her at home, is if you give her free rein in everything that affects her, outside of your home. I feel you can appropriately say,<em> I don't want drugs and alcohol in my home or to use be inebriated or high in my home.</em> But I don't see how you can monitor all of her behavior and comings and going. If you don't like her behavior, and how it affects you, ask her to leave. I don't see what other option you have.</p><p>Well. I let my son live with me until he was 23. Did it help? Not one bit that I can see.</p><p>I agree.</p><p></p><p>Wise. You've been heroic in how you've supported this girl. She has made it so very hard on you. Yet, you've accomplished so much. </p><p></p><p>She's almost done with school. She's working. Socially, she seems to be making progress, even though you may not approve of her choices. She seems a bit more compliant, and a teensy bit more respectful. In moments she pulls closer to you. </p><p></p><p>She has the means to finish school on her own terms, under her own steam. Why not let her move out? This is not kicking her out. It's letting nature take it's course. You could talk to her and set a date. I think this is exciting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 755648, member: 18958"] I don't think it's age appropriate for this kind of monitoring. What is the goal here? That she grow up or that she is accountable to you? Don't you want her to be independent and autonomous? How will she learn if you insert yourself? I think this is appropriate. She is a grown woman. She is working. She is about to finish her bachelor's degree. She is bucking you. Let her go. I agree. The only way that this might work, with her at home, is if you give her free rein in everything that affects her, outside of your home. I feel you can appropriately say,[I] I don't want drugs and alcohol in my home or to use be inebriated or high in my home.[/I] But I don't see how you can monitor all of her behavior and comings and going. If you don't like her behavior, and how it affects you, ask her to leave. I don't see what other option you have. Well. I let my son live with me until he was 23. Did it help? Not one bit that I can see. I agree. Wise. You've been heroic in how you've supported this girl. She has made it so very hard on you. Yet, you've accomplished so much. She's almost done with school. She's working. Socially, she seems to be making progress, even though you may not approve of her choices. She seems a bit more compliant, and a teensy bit more respectful. In moments she pulls closer to you. She has the means to finish school on her own terms, under her own steam. Why not let her move out? This is not kicking her out. It's letting nature take it's course. You could talk to her and set a date. I think this is exciting. [/QUOTE]
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