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Family of Origin
Life is difficult due to non-Difficult Child adult daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="wakeupcall" data-source="post: 673683" data-attributes="member: 2287"><p>Cedar, I read your words over and over...the insight you have is nothing short of amazing. My very best friend has stood by me through all this...she and her husband have said exactly what you have said. Pure manipulation. (I never considered that if I believed him all those years, why wouldn't our daughter believe him now??) I think she was devastated that I moved on so quickly, but all I can say is that I'm not a young person with a long life ahead. Trying to make her understand was smothering her, so I backed way off to give her space. The problem is that I feel that "space" has lasted so long that we will never have a relationship again. Shunning my husband through all this is reprehensible. He did nothing, has never met her or spoken to her. It's been five years since the divorce (new husband and I have been married three), that's a long time when one is in their sixties! I left ex only after very, very careful consideration....two years worth. Being "destroyed" is putting it mildly. My daughter is beautiful, intelligent, a terrific mother...and I miss her beyond words. </p><p></p><p>By what you wrote, you obviously have been in my shoes. Aren't families wonderful? I'm sorry for your pain. The holidays don't help. I continue to send Christmas presents, birthday presents, etc. with nary a thank you. Guess it's about time to stop that, too. It's hard to detach from her and Difficult Child at the same time....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wakeupcall, post: 673683, member: 2287"] Cedar, I read your words over and over...the insight you have is nothing short of amazing. My very best friend has stood by me through all this...she and her husband have said exactly what you have said. Pure manipulation. (I never considered that if I believed him all those years, why wouldn't our daughter believe him now??) I think she was devastated that I moved on so quickly, but all I can say is that I'm not a young person with a long life ahead. Trying to make her understand was smothering her, so I backed way off to give her space. The problem is that I feel that "space" has lasted so long that we will never have a relationship again. Shunning my husband through all this is reprehensible. He did nothing, has never met her or spoken to her. It's been five years since the divorce (new husband and I have been married three), that's a long time when one is in their sixties! I left ex only after very, very careful consideration....two years worth. Being "destroyed" is putting it mildly. My daughter is beautiful, intelligent, a terrific mother...and I miss her beyond words. By what you wrote, you obviously have been in my shoes. Aren't families wonderful? I'm sorry for your pain. The holidays don't help. I continue to send Christmas presents, birthday presents, etc. with nary a thank you. Guess it's about time to stop that, too. It's hard to detach from her and Difficult Child at the same time.... [/QUOTE]
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Life is difficult due to non-Difficult Child adult daughter
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