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Family of Origin
Life without Sis is amazingly, surprisingly good! Boundaries rock!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 627995" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>COM, life is quite a journey, isn't it? Trust me, I chased after my disinterested mother like a two year old child who had been abandoned on a street corner, trying everything I could, including demeaning myself, just to get her love. And it never happened. It took that to sort of teach me. SORT OF. You'd think the disinheritance bit would have done the trick 100% as in "You can't make people love you even if you drop your pride, act like a fool, and grovel." But it didn't. I still groveled after my sister until maybe turning fifty, then I was starting to get mad at her treatment of me when she would hang up on me, disappear and call the cops. But I still didn't think, "Duh. Maybe we aren't good for each other. Doesn't matter whose at fault. We don't work." Instead I thought, "I must be this horrible person if my perfect sister doesn't want to talk to me. Whoa is me. I screwed up yet again."</p><p></p><p>I finally got it.</p><p></p><p>It is hard to let go of social norms as in, "You must love your family and if they don't love you something is wrong with you. You must take care of your child until you die (this was just something *I* thought)."</p><p></p><p>At any rate, we live and learn. Too bad it takes so long...lol.</p><p></p><p>You are such a source of comfort on this board to me, COM. Wow, there are like ten members here who are always there and always know what to say. You are one of them.</p><p></p><p>You have a great day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 627995, member: 1550"] COM, life is quite a journey, isn't it? Trust me, I chased after my disinterested mother like a two year old child who had been abandoned on a street corner, trying everything I could, including demeaning myself, just to get her love. And it never happened. It took that to sort of teach me. SORT OF. You'd think the disinheritance bit would have done the trick 100% as in "You can't make people love you even if you drop your pride, act like a fool, and grovel." But it didn't. I still groveled after my sister until maybe turning fifty, then I was starting to get mad at her treatment of me when she would hang up on me, disappear and call the cops. But I still didn't think, "Duh. Maybe we aren't good for each other. Doesn't matter whose at fault. We don't work." Instead I thought, "I must be this horrible person if my perfect sister doesn't want to talk to me. Whoa is me. I screwed up yet again." I finally got it. It is hard to let go of social norms as in, "You must love your family and if they don't love you something is wrong with you. You must take care of your child until you die (this was just something *I* thought)." At any rate, we live and learn. Too bad it takes so long...lol. You are such a source of comfort on this board to me, COM. Wow, there are like ten members here who are always there and always know what to say. You are one of them. You have a great day. [/QUOTE]
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Life without Sis is amazingly, surprisingly good! Boundaries rock!
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