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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 718768" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Hi LBL, I have been wondering how you are doing in this impossible situation.</p><p></p><p>This is just my very humble and totally uninformed opinion. I don't know you, but I recognize myself in your situation. Please take this with a very large grain of salt, BUT...</p><p></p><p>I think it is very, very hard not to get sucked into their drama when they are living with us.</p><p></p><p>What is your objective in letting son stay under your roof? It seemed to me like it was initially a roof over his head until a bed opened up. Now the lines have blurred (and believe me, I AM NOT CRITICIZING, because I am the queen of blurred lines), but you find yourself ferrying him on an "I forgot" errand, which turns out to be horseshit, and there it is...with him facing impending arrest that he never would have faced if you hadn't given him a ride.</p><p></p><p>It's life in the rabbit hole.</p><p></p><p>And again, I mean this as no criticism whatsoever. I only point it out because of the many, many times I have been in the hole myself.</p><p></p><p>What springs immediately to mind is the time I ran out and bought my son a pint of vodka and sat at the kitchen table watching him drink it, so he would be drunk enough to get a bed at detox. He gets ugly when he drinks and he needed rehab. Plus, I wanted him out of my house because I was tired of the ugliness..but he didn't have any money to get drunk "enough"...so I stepped in.</p><p></p><p>The Mother of the Year trophy is sitting proudly on my mantel.</p><p></p><p>I look back on that now with amazement and shame, but the truth is, if he were living with me again I know I would do something similar.</p><p></p><p>You and Hubs are absolute saints for allowing him to stay with you until a bed opens up, but I think you need to focus on that objective alone.</p><p></p><p>If he forgets something, too bad. He has his bed, he has his guaranteed meals, that's all you offered. If he wants anything else, too bad.</p><p></p><p>Your son is an addict. Until he starts to think differently, every word that comes out of his mouth will be a lie.</p><p></p><p>Edited to add: You are absolutely awesome for leaving him there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 718768, member: 17720"] Hi LBL, I have been wondering how you are doing in this impossible situation. This is just my very humble and totally uninformed opinion. I don't know you, but I recognize myself in your situation. Please take this with a very large grain of salt, BUT... I think it is very, very hard not to get sucked into their drama when they are living with us. What is your objective in letting son stay under your roof? It seemed to me like it was initially a roof over his head until a bed opened up. Now the lines have blurred (and believe me, I AM NOT CRITICIZING, because I am the queen of blurred lines), but you find yourself ferrying him on an "I forgot" errand, which turns out to be horseshit, and there it is...with him facing impending arrest that he never would have faced if you hadn't given him a ride. It's life in the rabbit hole. And again, I mean this as no criticism whatsoever. I only point it out because of the many, many times I have been in the hole myself. What springs immediately to mind is the time I ran out and bought my son a pint of vodka and sat at the kitchen table watching him drink it, so he would be drunk enough to get a bed at detox. He gets ugly when he drinks and he needed rehab. Plus, I wanted him out of my house because I was tired of the ugliness..but he didn't have any money to get drunk "enough"...so I stepped in. The Mother of the Year trophy is sitting proudly on my mantel. I look back on that now with amazement and shame, but the truth is, if he were living with me again I know I would do something similar. You and Hubs are absolute saints for allowing him to stay with you until a bed opens up, but I think you need to focus on that objective alone. If he forgets something, too bad. He has his bed, he has his guaranteed meals, that's all you offered. If he wants anything else, too bad. Your son is an addict. Until he starts to think differently, every word that comes out of his mouth will be a lie. Edited to add: You are absolutely awesome for leaving him there. [/QUOTE]
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